Worst All-Inclusive resort we have ever stayed at in over 20 years. Last minute trip but I spent hours researching and this one was rated one of the higher that was still available. Paid extra for the Royal level for two rooms as it was the 6 of us: my husband our three teenagers + a friend. I shudder to imagine what the regular rooms are like, because there was nothing royal or special that we experienced! Check in seemed fine - no line. When we booked, we requested that we would be in the same "tower/building" as our kids. They said "No Problemo". We booked directly with the hotel website. They were in building 20, we were in 18. Not ideal, but our kids are old enough and all cell phones worked. But, when we went to the rooms, it was mixed up and the keys didn't work. Easy fix! Finally, get to our king size bedroom - on the first floor Bldg 18 and it was swampy. As in, mildewy smell, damp sheets, and sticky floors. I've stayed in rural hotels/motels that were nicer. Screen door broken. I had mistakenly ignored a previous negative review that these floor level "Royal" rooms were uncomfortably humid, but disregarded b/c all the other ones were positive. Mistake; that negative reviewer was spot on. Rooms: window was left open, windowsill dirty, tub was stained and very narrow, mirror was rusted, toilet seat didn't fit, had to hold down the handle for a solid 10 seconds to flush and the one hand towel provided was actually ragged! I walked back to Royal Concierge close by to report the problem. They said they would send a dehumidifier and towels. 4 hours later, went back to dark, musty room. No dehumidifier, no rooms available to change until the next day. Next day moved us to BLDG 20; 2 doors down from our kids. Great! We excitedly went to the beach, returned ready for a shower and three hours later, still no suitcase. Two phone calls and two trips to Royal Concierge to ask for the one suitcase. They were not eager or apologetic. The second floor room was better, but still ranks as the worst room I've ever stayed in. The entire property needed a good cleaning and updates! The sheets were so scratchy and pillows lumpy. Again, not expecting the Four Seasons, but it was definitely motel quality. Food: Made reservations immediately at check-in for dinners at restaurants b/c heard buffets were bad. None available first night and the buffet was closed for another hour. We love food and we are not picky eaters. Yet, all the teens had trouble finding dishes, which was never a problem before at other AI resorts/cruises. Waited on the grill service b/c figured fresh grilled meat was better as what was sitting out was unappealing. The fresh grilled beef had a very spongy texture - as in a lot of injectable meat tenderizers I suspect. Every restaurant was mediocre and service was sloooow everywhere including the lunch buffet. I get that it is island time, but we always had to flag someone down for water, coffee, utensils, and even menus at one! La Carreta was the only breakfast restaurant other than a buffet, and it was good and convenient. The Coral restaurant for seafood was blah, 6 people, not one impressive dish. Same meh food at Los Olivos and the International Dinner (at La Carreta). We ordered a variety - nothing was delicious; again we weren't expecting Michelin stars, but we've always found other AI restaurants or most of their dishes impressive for resort food. We had to eat lunch every day at the beach/pool buffet bc nothing else was available. Beware of Coati droppings left on the sidewalk to bask in the sun for 5 days. This was the main sidewalk next to the Royal exit to the beach! When I told the lady about the one in between our rooms, she said "ok, there are wild animals that come". It sat out there for 2 days along with the leftover room service. It probably is still there... Pros: Axel, the towel guy, was nice. He gave us towels even though we did not have a card b/c at check-in she did not offer this or tell us we needed it. The pool drink servers worked hard and were very nice. Bartenders were great too! We kayaked, played pool and beach volleyball. The activities guy did a great job guiding the teams and players of different levels. It was fun! The beach court boundary ropes were tied down with a broken sharp branch. How much can it be to invest in four plastic or metal stakes? I put a plastic cup over them so we wouldn't get impaled if we went for a ball. Fortunately, everyone stayed on the positive side and made do. We spent as much time on the beach and pool. The resort has a very worn vibe. No activities - disco night was sad looking. A small strip of beach and chairs weren't too hard to find. We brought our own snorkel gear for shore snorkeling. Saw some fish, but not much. Also, we were lured with the time share tour (1.5 hours) with a promise of a VIP level breakfast and a snorkel excursion for 6 for $140. I knew it was a bad idea, but frankly, I was so bored and eager for a special breakfast since my husband and I are early risers anyways. It.was.awful. Arrived at 8:30am sharp for our lovely VIP breakfast and they were not open. Took us instead to the breakfast buffet. I had coffee and my husband took a couple of bites of his scrambled eggs. [insert vomit emoji] The timeshare presenter lady became condescending when she couldn't continue twisting our words. What an awful job to have so I bit my tongue and finally we resolved to just saying no thank you, no thank you to move things along. On the bright side, the tour they arranged was with Alberto's Water Sports. They were awesome! We snorkeled Palancar, Columbia?, some other area and El Cielito. Saw turtles, baby shark, tons of fish, barracuda and stingrays. They provided chips, fresh ceviche, beers and cold sodas and water. They were very helpful and fun and we would have been happy to pay the full $360, but feel a little better knowing all the money wasted on the "Royal" level at least got us Alberto's snorkeling excursion. Misc: Semi-private van for the 6 of us was $60. Buy tickets just before you exit the airport. We squeezed in. On our departure, the hotel bellboy was no where to be found, so we pushed our own luggage to the exit. Royal Concierge said it would cost us $25-30 since we needed a van, not a taxi. Authorized taxi showed up quickly, but said the fixed rate was $60 cash only. Luckily we had US dollars and he accepted that. Beer on tap at their lobby bar wasn't working. Hallway lights are dim; fountains broken, sidewalks dirty. Felt very worn and dated. Beach and pool was nice but go somewhere else.…