UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU BOOK YOUR HONEYMOON OR ANY OTHER IMPORTANT OCCASION HERE! Golly. I did not really want to have to write this review, because you know what, it was my honeymoon! And despite the APPALLING room and service provided by this hotel, it was luckily one of a few we stayed in. The other were all at very comparative prices, in Ibiza and unbelievably beautiful, literally like walking into the pages of Elle Deco, so sadly this was just a 2 night stain on what otherwise was glorious trip. But I would feel awful if anyone else had this experience so write this review I will!! So the good: - the CANCELLATION policy! What a blessing, it is not true that it is a 1 night cancellation policy because by the time you check in you have to pay for 2 nights, but it meant that thank god we could leave 1 night early! - there are very few hotels to choose from in Formentera so this felt like the best of what there was for the price. I can’t tell you now it is not. Others like Hotel Teranka whilst double the price are about 7000% better and value for money by comparison! And if any of these budgets seem crazy there are some wonderful tiny hotels albeit quite hard to find on a google search. - one staff member, Georgia, provided some excellent service prior to my arrival getting a washing liquid for my sheets for me as I have allergies. So the issues are obviously not staff specific, it is management specific, but some staff made it a whole lot worse. - the view from main hotel terrace. - direct and on the beach so great if you have kids - probably good if you like a very standard chain style hotels And now the BAD: - We arrived to check in. We were told the hotel was full and they had only managed to provide a partial upgrade. I was led to the room and instantly shocked. It was a tiny cell like room. I could not believe this was an upgrade as it felt like a downgrade from what I had expected based on the website images. It was nothing like what I had seen on their website when I booked. The website does NOT make clear at all that you wont get a sea view. I have provided images of what you are shown at the booking stage. - The hotel was not full, it was an outright lie, as I immediately looked on Booking. com to see about 5 free rooms that were the more expensive rooms and so assume they must have a sea view! - Obviously I was realistic and didn't have an expectation for the best room, but a decent room with a decent view was WELL within their capability but they simply did not care enough to offer it. - I stated that the room offered was far below expectations and I would like to know what upgrades could be offered. The staff member went to great lengths to detail out in public what I had paid and what I would have to pay to move to a better room, which worked out to be about another 900 euros! For 3 nights!! In addition to the 900 euros we had already paid!!! - They showed me a room that was an additional 900 euros more, overlooking the pool, it had a large fixed pool sunbed right up to the patio windows with a screen which you could not open, you were effectively caged in. I cannot imagine any scenario under which any right thinking person could be coerced to part with an additional 900 euros for such a room?! - As a result we ended up taking the standard room with the view over the laundry and car park because it was better than the supposed upgrade to the cell like room overlooking the street. Can you imagine that this room was better, that is really saying something. - The way the whole situation was handled was so humiliating and degrading and extremely tacky to boot, it was clear that their only motivation was money and as a result you got hideous service. The staff member had a total lack of manners or finesse and was talking loudly and audibly about money and that I had to pay double etc. - Even when they were very clear the room they offered was SO substandard for a honeymoon experience they did NOTHING to rectify it! Nothing!! I must be clear that this hotel WILL NOT DO ANYTHING to improve your experience regardless of what pivotal occasion you are celebrating, even though it was well within their capability to do so. - This hotel is stuck very much in the past and has no idea of high end/ luxury hospitality or service and their focus is entirely on money only. They have a totally over grandiose image of themselves and what they provide, and appear to be caught up in the hype/ image of the prices paid by the super rich yachting crowd who frankly would not dream of staying here, so its a total disconnect from reality. - dementedly highly priced dinner menu, simply go and eat at Casa Pacha or Hotel Teranka at a fraction of the price for amazing food. This hotel is woefully incapable of understanding good hotel design, appropriate pricing and value of what they offer. They are gaining off of the fact that there as so few hotels in formentera and so can charge totally disproportionate prices The hotel service culture is 15 years out of date with hospitality service trends and its understanding of customer experience and the value of recommendations based on good experience. The hotel design is about 15 years out of date and out of step with current hotel trends and has tired and dated decor: - and a highly synthetic fragrance in the foyer and rooms that smells like toilet cleaner - very average quality old fashioned breakfast buffet - our bath robes had holes, the bathroom fan and lights did not work - we had to call at 4am to ask to fix the fan and air conditioning In summary please please DO not waste your money staying at this hotel if your trip is in any way special or important to you. If you need a basic place to stay, in a decent location with good basic amenities, this is fine but very overpriced. However if you want to spend your 350 euros a night well, do not spend it here, do not give this hotel the opportunity to ruin an entirely irreplaceable experience that matters in your life!! Whatever reply they write to this review, know this: - any hotelier with even a BASIC understanding of customer experience knows that giving your HONEYMOON guest the WORST room in the hotel is possibly the WORST thing you can do for your reputation or your guest! - they had EVERY opportunity to rectify this issue, I was vey clear about what was not ok. - they had EVERY opportunity to rectify this and it would have been incredibly simple, yet they did NOTHING. Instead they consciously chose to ruin a a portion of our honeymoon in preference of having empty rooms in their hotel. - I was polite, I was calm, yet made it clear this was very poor service. - their idea of an upgrade was a tiny box like cell looking over another on street parking area and glimpse of sea if you stuck your head out, it is saying something that we preferred the room with the view of the car park and laundry!!! - this proves outright that they simply DO NOT CARE about their guests, we are seen literally as a commodity on high turnover, so of very low value. - you have been warned!…