(With apologies to Bob Marley for using his song title)
It was supposed to be paradise. My wife and I had never been to Jamaica before, and never stayed at an “all-inclusive” hotel. We know several people who have been to Jamaica and they all raved about how great it was. So, we were anxious to discover just what it was to have the “wonderful time” that all of our friends were talking about. I had booked a room at Breezes Montego Bay, which is owned by SuperClubs. It was booked through Perx(-), an interline travel agency. Perx rated the hotel 3 and ½ stars, which meant (and I quote their web site), “A dependable, comfortable hotel with standardized rooms, amenities and public areas - May have superior executive level or wing - May be safely recommended to average clients not expecting Deluxe facilities of special services - Should also be satisfactory for better groups.”
Even Frommer’s Caribbean 2003 travel book gave the place a glowing review. With these descriptions in mind, we booked an ROH (run-of-the-house) room, which was all Perx offered. I knew that ROH meant that you get what was available, but I felt that if the place is “all-inclusive” how could we go wrong? But, we did.
Day One… we arrive.
•First of all, let’s put to bed the myth about no tips at an “all-inclusive” resort. Shuttle van driver begged for tips all the way to resort.
•Served champagne (Mimosas) when we arrived. This was the most service we received during our stay.
•ROH reservation. Our second floor room was a crackerbox, about 8X12 with no view. Our only view was a small window over the bed which overlooked nothing except the walkway to our (and other) rooms. Therefore, we couldn’t dare leave the curtain to our window open. Anyone that happened to walk by could look right in. When we asked about changing rooms, the staff pretty much told us “what you see is what you got”.
•We discovered that there were no toiletries in the bathroom. We also discovered that you had to leave the water in the sink or shower running about 20 minutes before it got “lukewarm”.
•When we went downstairs to the pool bar, the bartender was more interested in tending to other employees than he was to tending to the guests. When I finally got a drink from him, it had black spots in it like bugs.
•The menu at the pool grill consisted of jerk chicken, jerk chicken and jerk chicken. If you didn’t like that, they also had jerk chicken.
•Employees throughout the complex were totally indifferent and acted like we were bothering them. No one offered you anything, not even water.
•That evening, we decided to go to the resorts only restaurant, only to be told by the Maitre d’ that we had to have a reservation. He said he would see what he could do. Looking around, the restaurant seemed pretty vacant... maybe some of the patrons came disguised as empty seats. He did let us stay, and showed us to a table. The boom-box at his station which supplied the music for the evening was a nice touch. The food was okay, but nothing to write home about.
•When we turned back the bed for the evening, we discovered a rather long strand of hair on one of our pillows.
Day Two… we left.
•The next morning, we when down to the breakfast buffet and looked around for an open table. We found one and discovered it didn’t have any place settings. I got up and look for some, but could not find any. When I asked one staff there the place settings were, she looked me right in the eye, said they are on your table, turned and walked away. I took some off another table, but by that time, they had run out of food.
•And by this time, WE had enough. We packed our bags, cut our losses and left the resort. And, of course, the shuttle van driver begged for money all the way back to the airport.
Yes, it was so bad we left the second day, even though we paid for three nights! We finished our vacation in Las Vegas. While changing planes in Atlanta, we called Vegas to find a vacancy. The only place hotels(-) could come up with was the Doubletree in Henderson. But it was fantastic compared to our stay at Breezes Montego Bay.
Our friends that have visited Jamaica were amazed at our story. Keep in mind, the following trip took place over a year ago... maybe things are better now. But looking that some of the more recent reviews of this place, I think not. Our friends said we should give Jamaica another chance. Maybe we will someday. But I can tell you, we will never stay at a Breezes or SuperClub resort again.
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC