This review is going to be difficult being that both my gf and I have read every post about this resort on here, which is why we decided to go in the first place. SATP has plenty of positives, but definitely a few negatives too. I'm going to try and be as helpful as possible to give future travelers a clear understanding of what they are buying.

First I will say you are not going to a resort in the states or any other "wealthy" country. Jamaica is 3rd world and you need to understand that there's going to be a culture shock. We personally love that about traveling abroad, but some people might not mesh well with the different mentality and lifestyle of the Jamaicans. Go to Atlantis or something similar if that is you. That being said you will definitely have an interesting ride as soon as you land. First you will most likely be offered drugs of some sort walking out of the airport. Just say no thank you and you'll be fine. Second you will definitely have a nail-biter of a ride, especially driving on the left side and on very narrow streets. If you get motion sickness definitely take some dramamine. When you arrive it will all start to come together with a cold towel and punch.

RESORT LIFE:

The best advice I can give about enjoying your stay on the resort is to be NICE. I love the reviews about how people were mistreated or ignored. This is because you all simply complain instead of TALKING to the staff. Very few people want to go out of their way to help miserable complainers. They'll do just enough to not get in trouble or fired. Also never underestimate the power of George. Slipping a few bucks to the staff will DEFINITELY make a big difference in the way you're treated. I probably spent almost $150 in tips during the 9 days there and that's probably why I was treated so well. Don't get me wrong... I thought it was ridiculous to have to tip so much, but A: it'll make your stay better and B: you're doing a good deed by helping their lives out a little bit.

FOOD:

Better than average buffet food. You'll always find something to eat. The indoor place isn't much better,but it's definitely cooler and gives you a more romantic atmosphere. Go early so you won't wait an hour for service.

ENTERTAINMENT:

Probably the biggest dissapointment. The staff definitely tried, but with an old guy doing tricks on a bike, a low key steel drum band and nothing to do but sit at a bar we got extremely bored. I know some people will say that is the charm of the resort, but at least have some pool tables or something to occupy people after the beach is closed. You can go to various clubs and restaurants, but I didn't feel comfortable going especially with my girlfriend being with me. Also I really didn't want to spend anymore money on drinks and food. Note* The Friday BBQ is probably the best. We both got up to fire dance and limbo.

ATTRACTIONS:

We went snorkeling with the glass bottom boat to the right of the beach. ( I attached pics for everyone that I took with an Olympus Stylus waterproof camera. GET THIS CAMERA. You can drop it in water, sand or whatever and be fine. $350 at circuit city. ) Anyway it was a great time. Also went horseback riding right up the road and had a blast. DON'T do the swimming with horses. It is a waste of money and the horses hate it. Just ride up the mountain and on the beach and you'll have a blast.

Rick's was cool. I would check it out again just to see the crazys jump off the cliffs. One note...if you see jamaican kids on the adjoining cliffs pointing at you...don't waive because they will jump off and ask you for money afterwards. If you're thinking of jumping off yourself just be careful. Many people have died and/or been paralyzed.


PROBLEMS:

We had a problem with our TV when we arrived. Most channels were unwatchable(in the 400 buildings). We complained on a Friday and were told it was a problem with the cable company. On Monday with no resolution I finally spoke to the manager who told me "people don't usually come here for the TV". As you can guess I was just a little annoyed with that response being that I'm paying for the TV TO WORK along with everything else we would expect in our "package". If I want to watch Seinfield before bed I should be able to do that.
Instead of yelling though...I was nice and got us moved to a suite for the night, which had a perfect TV. (BTW unless you have a bunch of people in your party the suites really aren't worth it. ) The next day we were moved to a different room where... surprise... the TV was just as bad as the first one. At this point we just gave up knowing that there really isn't anything they could do so we nicely told them about the ongoing problem and they surprised us with champagne in ice.

This is an example of how sometimes you have to accept that there will be problems and move on or you'll end up ruining your vacation.

Overall we had a very relaxing and memorable trip. For the money this place is great, but I think next time I'll pay the extra money for better service and more entertainment somewhere else.

Feel free to email me with any specific questions. I'd be happy to help.