We came down from North Wales to run in a race the next day. Next time, I'll recommend we look into the possibility of staying on a park bench, as the service might be somewhat better. It says something that the only hotel awards I could see proudly on display in the garish lounge were for flower arrangements.

At the end of our 5 and a half hour trip southwards, we arrived, tired, hungry and cold, to find we were locked out. The guy on duty had popped out to get some shopping- but there was noone else there who could have let us in so we hung around in the porch waiting about 10 minutes for him to return. To be fair, when he did return to check us in, he came across better than other members of staff I saw, who were incompetent or rude.

Our room was small, cheaply furnished and rather battered, and the shower was both dangerous (no bathmat provided- but the free shower gel seems to contain very little soap so I guess that isn't a problem unless you wish to use your own) and awkward- it runs off the tap so you're best taking it off the hook- but the room was warm enough and relatively clean. I didn't find the bed comfy- it was very hard and the mattress was lumpy. But- this is a 2 star hotel and the accommodation wasn't that bad for what you pay for it. I was minded to give the experience 3 stars- until the next morning.

At breakfast, there were five of us at a table set for 4, so we obtained extra cutlery and a chair from another table. Now I'm sorry if we disrupted the dining staff's plans, but it's not the most terrible thing in the world to do- yet one of the staff members made the fatal error of announcing loudly to the dining room that a place had been moved and should not have been. Clearly it wasn't enough for her to simply moan about it to her colleagues behind closed doors, as most people would have had the sense to do. Instead, she just had to let the paying customers know she wasn't happy. Well done.

And I hate to say it, but the waitress who served us should never have been employed in such a capacity when she was apparently incapable of understanding basic restaurant English. Don't get me wrong, I am part Czech and am ashamed to say I don't speak the language and haven't been there- but if I was to go over there I would at least make the effort to get by. But when you order 2 full English breakfasts and get 3 fried eggs, or order extra butter and get 2 glasses of water, it is initially amusing but eventually gets a bit embarrassing when you keep having to send things back to a kitchen who loved us from the moment we moved their cutlery. And surely the language barrier gave her no excuse for trying to take away my plate before I'd finished my melon.

We had been told we could check out at 11 am, but apparently nobody thought to tell the cleaners. We were getting changed into our running gear at 10.25 when they came round banging on the doors. I put the do not disturb sign up, to be bawled at by a surly woman "Are you checking out?" Was very tempted to respond "No, we are staying in this wonderful establishment for all eternity".

In fact I replied "In a few minutes"- as by then, I couldn't wait to leave. It seems that once we had paid (you pay in advance- be warned), we were seen as an inconvenience to be got rid of as soon as possible. Nice.