Arrived to the smell of chipfat and grease and shown up to our room whilst being told "I dont know what state the room is in" as we headed up the dusty carpeted stairs. Room had 1 double and one single bed.

Pillow cases distinctly smelt of sweat, sheets had pubic hair on them and although tuppaware with tea/coffee and dirty spoons, no milk was provided (not thaat you would have risked drinking from the cups!!) Into the Bathroom (door had no lock)and no complimentries apart from a loo roll that had been loo-water soaked and dried in all its crinkled glory, a shower with shower door thickly coated in grime and a selection of urine still up the back of the toilet on the pipes.

ALSO - AND I WRITE AND WRETCH - None other than a poo mark on the wall just above the loo roll holder (obviously someones finger had gone through the paper on a previous stay - and believe me, it wasnt a recenty poo mark! How Crusty is that!) After arriving back from a days pubbing, drinking in sweaty bars rammed cos of the rugby we all delaighted to arrive back to prepare for a night out, shower, change etc and recieve the news that freshening up was not an option and no-one could shower unless willing to shower in cold water as...and I quote "room 12 have used all the hot water!!!" Consequently, being the middle of october, we had to improvise by boiling the kettle, mixing with cold water and washing as best we could - however, 3 to a room and 3 to a kettle, we werer still washing in tepid water some 1hour 15 mins later!!

There was no iron available so 80% of the party set out for the night creased and wrinkled as well as only partially wiped down - and to add insult to injury, the door to the dining/welcome area was not open for us to question the scruffy looking and somewhat potty landlady - infact, she only had the cheek to appear as our taxi arrived and we were waiting outside the crummy dive!

We were given no explanation for any of the poor service!!

Also, dont be fooled by the advertising or fall for the tempting promise of central heating as there was not a drop of heat - even when the temperature plummeted at 2am there was no sign of heat...adding to the fact you darnt get under the crusty bed covers so opted to lay on the top of the bed on top of a piece of our own clothing, Hypothermia was a possibility! The rooms were all in all Dusty, smelly, damp (one of the rooms hosted a delicious large and ugly looking damp patch over the bed) - Another room hosted a bathroom the size of a shoebox with no door on it and another one had net curtains so dirty and unwashed they qwere crunbling to dust at the touch!

The final straw was when one guest spotted a small black blot on her forearm and on closer examination quickly flicked it off as it was a FLEA!! URRRRGH! Sick!!

Needless to say, nobody ate breakfast for fear of untimely death! The cheeky Jipppo's had the cheek to charge £25 pppn and we had to pay upfront - oh, you do get a packet of midget gems or mcvities mini choc digestives on top of your pre-stained hand towel by way of a welcome!!!!

DONT RISK IT - IT COULD QUITE LITERALLY DAMPEN YOUR WEEKEND!!! FILTHY, FOUL AND FAR FROM FRESH FACILITIES!

If you want to risk it - get immunizede first - seriously!!!! Happy Dayz? HAPPY DERMOTITUS! This hotel is a definite front runner for top view on rotten.com

Pics to follow - will update!