This hotel is a complete shambles... and in a slum to boot... with no local restaurants... no local bars...

We arrived to be shown to our sea view room...a sea view across a building site and the local concrete factory... room was ok... free minibar with beer/water/tonic...

Hotel was empty... you are rattling around a mansion... bar was empty.... restaurant was empty... there is nothing else... oh i lie... a gorgeous back garden... but thats it...

Went for a walk to find some life... found the concrete factory blocking the road to the seafront... no way through... and a ghetto up the hill... a real slum... moody... lots of people with nothing to do... even the tobaconist was behind a full length screen.. a tadge scary really...

Arrived back and booked dinner for 7-30... went for pre dinner drink at 7... bar was shut... but manuel'esque waiter asked us so we asked for two gin and tonics... 15 mins later.... 2 gin and waters... complained.. then another waiter turns up 10 mins later to say they have no tonic... except in every free minibar but he cant remember that... or understand my point... so we ordered two very average vodka & cokes €7 each... tasted a bit stale...

Went to restaurant... Quite nice decor... should be ok...

The first warning sign was the presence of the waiter who served gin and water... especially when he became a wine connoiseur... opening our €20 bottle... pouring a glass... rolling it .... smelling it.... listening to it... yes... listening to it.... before offering me a taste... and then scuttling back to the kitchen with the glass he had 'experimented' with... and then returning to pour the remaining bottle into a caraffe...

(and when i complained to the receptionist about this bizarre ritual upon departure... she told me it was cultural... and simply different to how we in england do things... the waiter was in fact a wine expert... oh right... how come he couldnt tell water from tonic?)

Anyway we then endured a particuarly average meal... my wifes mixed salad was lettuce... end of...my pasta was frankly a bit uncooked with an odd unpleasant after taste ...before not fancying anything off the sweet menu... so ordering a 'Fantazio de Formaggio'

Now my Italian is poor but that means 'fantasy of cheese' Im sure... cant go wrong..

It was two scabby hunks of PARMESAN... WHAT can you do with a large hunk of solid parmesan... (i did think about asking a grater) ...and two slivers of emmantal... with a few rocket leaves and four grapes cut in two... for €7... er no... i expected Brie.. Danish Blue... but not PARMESAN...

After pushing it round my plate in disbelief...I said I wasn't having it... and said I was not paying for it... so the waiter took it away... and said two mins and he would get the manager to speak to us... 15 minutes later... noone had come so we went to our room via reception.

On the way I asked for a morning taxi to the airport 8km away... and was quoted €50 which I refused... €50 for 8km... I also said I would be complaining about the meal to the manager in the morning... and asked what time he would be in... 9am

We went to the room and put the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door...

50 minutes later...after we were nicely settled in the room...

(listening to the traffic on the road outside.... dont believe the website photo... that is the BACK of the building... the front is straight onto a main road...)

DESPITE the DO NOT DISTURB sign... the door buzzer went... nah... I ignored it... it went again so I opened the door...

You couldn't make it up... the restaurant manager was stood there with a silver salver on a tray.... he said he had heard I wasn't happy with the Fantasia de Formaggio... and as a gesture of good will... at no cost... he had brought this to make it up to me... turrah... he lifted the lid... I expected a feast of cheese and fruit... Brie etc...

Two scabby bits of cheese gone and two different varieties of other scabby cheese in their place... no grapes... no rocket... but four pots of jam... and a basket of bread from a table in the restaurant...

He was off...

'you have... parmesagno... emantal.. etc...'

I explained it was 11pm .. i had finished my meal an hour ago... no thanks... he continued

i bring you cafe... no thanks.. wine... no thanks.... he asked how could he make it up to me... I explained to waive the bill would be a good start... eventually he left... er.... what part of DO NOT DISTURB dont you get ??????

Then we had a group of other guests shouting up and down the corridor from 12-2...

We ordered breakfast in the room... the two fried eggs that did arrive were dried up and solid yoked.... my breakfast of sausage and egg didnt even arrive on the trolley so we had to share the one breakfast...... there was no fruit juice as ordered... and the cappacino was FOUL... to be honest we left most of it.. the bread wasnt even fresh....

I complained in the morning ... but unfortunately the manager was going to arrive later... after I had left of course...

But i did get the €7 for the Fantasy of Cheese off my bill... not any of the rest of the bill...

Ordered a taxi... €40... work that out it was €50 last night??? or did it come down conveniently because I wouldnt pay €50... still for 7Km ... its a lot... did not care... i would have payed anything to get out of that place...

If you have any sense at all...dont stay here... dont stay in Erculano unless you like the Ghetto.. the ruins are good... but easy by train... this was truly the worst place and the worst 4* I have EVER stayed in...

I would not stay here again if you payed me for doing so... horrid