I read all the reviews first and thought I knew what to expect.

Bottom line: You're on your own at this place. The owner barely showed us our room and then went back to entertaining her friends. She was having an open studio in the house and people were wandering around the property, including into our room with our luggage. I had to track her down and ask for a key to lock our room to cut down on the traffic.

Speaking of keys, they don't lock the door at night and the building is unattended other than the sleeping guests. You can draw your own conclusions about that.

Want a cup of coffee in the morning before breakfast? Good luck. There is none of the normal B&B feeling. No menus of local restaurants, no evening wine.

In general the entire time I felt like someone had just offered me a spare room and charged me $200 a night (it's more on the weekends).

The good: Location is great, the house is fun to see and there's fun things to see in every room. The soaking tub is cool and the shower is great. They must have sunk millions of dollars into the house and I suspect the B&B was done solely for a tax write off.

My husband surprised me on our anniversary with a quick getaway to the sanitarium and it was incredible. We had just visited a winery, so the first thing we did was share a glass of wine in the amazing tub in our room. The place is so relaxing. Our hostess Nicky took great care of us and even referred us to an incredible Italian restaurant for dinner. The best part was getting a hot stone massage the next morning in one of the rooms downstairs. We were only there for a night but we left feeling completely renewed! We will definitely be going back soon!

We stayed at the Sanitarium B & B for 3 nights in April 2007. I had looked at countless B & B websites in that area, looking for one that was really beautiful. I'm surprised how many B & B's I consider ugly. They may be comfy, but they're too fussy or have terrible colors. This one really caught my eye. It's owned by an artist, and it shows. All the background colors are white, which sets off all the art and unusual, whimsical sculptures beautifully.

The staff were very friendly, welcoming, accommodating and fun to talk to. Breakfast was delicious.

Our room was lovely, roomy, and comfortable. The bed was wonderful. The bathroom was huge, and there was a large deck outside our room. We tried both the soaking tub and the steam shower, and I recommend both.

They had cruiser bikes we could borrow, which I really appreciated.

One caveat: it can be a lively place. The owners use the place for entertaining - having friends over for a weekly painting night, dinner parties, etc, so there can be noise, especially in the evening. We didn't mind it at all, and it didn't go too late. And they even invited us to paint with them, and offered us pie! But if you're looking for a super quiet place, this isn't it.

One tip - it's $100 per night more on the weekend, so we re-arranged our trip a bit so we stayed there on weeknights.

I will definitely stay there again the next time I'm in SLO.

•Do not busy yourself in the kitchen, mid-day when expecting check-ins, while listening to Fergie at high volume.
•Do not greet your guests with "You're really early” … even if they are.
•Do not assume your guests already know your name and, therefore, never bother to introduce yourself.
•Do not leave your guests wondering whether there is or is not a room key available and never bother to offer one.
•Do not neglect to give your guests a tour of the house and/or their guest room.
•Do not claim that the fireplace works and that your guests are welcome to make a fire but neglect to explain where there might be kindling, wood and/or matches.
•Do not leave used, empty tea lights in votives in the room, therefore, psyching out your candle-loving guests.
•Do not neglect to tell your guests where to park.
•When told that our waiter at dinner sent his regards to “Sara”, do not respond with an explanation that this was one of the many locals your former employee, Sara, slept with.
•Do not forget to check the smoke detectors in guest rooms on a regular basis so that their batteries do not wear out in the middle of the night keeping all of the guests awake with incessant beeping every.twenty.seconds.
•Do not lie and tell your guests (when they call to notify you of said smoke detector) that you "just got in from L.A. last night so you have no idea what is going on with the house", especially when you were there when we arrived the day before! Are you or are you not the innkeeper?
•Do not completely neglect to fix the smoke detector as though it would resolve itself. (Since it was never silenced or removed, the battery finally died completely – 2 hours later!)
•Do not give attitude at ANY time.
•Do not advertise that your inn is serene, quiet, peaceful, soothing, etc. when in reality it is located on a heavily-trafficked main road near a train station and a firehouse, immediately next door to a sorority house, and directly across the street from a DJ and bongo player's "party house"  They were at it until 3AM during our second night, which meant we didn’t sleep on EITHER night.
•Do not serve a mediocre breakfast of scrambled eggs, juice, coffee, chopped bananas and strawberries, plain bagels and toast.
•Do not seat yourself at the breakfast table and proceed to tell everyone your life story including the words [--] "hookers" and complete it with tales of drug use, hookers, massage parlors and how “behind” the United States is. (It was clear that the other guests in the house weren’t as offended and put off as we were, but perhaps they were gluttons for punishment or found this sort of display humorous. We didn’t. Make no mistake, my husband and I are in our thirties and freelance as rock music journalists and concert photographers. We both lived and worked in Hollywood for over 12 years. Our sense of humor is completely intact and we’ve just about seen and heard it all. However, this was neither what we expected nor encouraged. )
•Do not disparage every restaurant in your own business community by claiming that you never recommend any of the local restaurants because “All of the food sucks here”.
•When told that your guests would be missing breakfast in lieu of having breakfast with their families, do not feign disappointment, then scowl and reply with "Well, that sucks."
•Do not openly flirt with the male half of a married couple (MY HUSBAND!) by purring, "Ooooh! You look sooo Italian. Rarrrr" with visible body language. Don't do it. EVER.
•Do not neglect to clean your guest’s room, refresh the linens or provide fresh toiletries while they are away on the second day of their stay. (Apparently, chatting at breakfast with the other guests until 1:30PM was much more important. And so were the other rooms in the house. Every other room was cleaned and taken care of. Every one but OURS. )
•When asked to settle up early, do not continue to gather your purse and keys while informing your guests that you were “just leaving” and act as though it is in inconvenience for you.
•Do not charge $290 per night for all of the above. There are 4 and 5-star hotels that can charge this much but with good reason. Although it is a nice home and the rooms were generally clean and well-kept; the “amenities” at the Sanitarium do not come anywhere near justifying this ridiculous rate. I get “minimalism”, but our room didn’t even have a phone or a closet or a hook to hang our clothes!
Granted, we were given a $100 dollar break for the sleep we missed during the smoke detector issue, but we didn’t even bother to complain about the loud, thumping music, bongos, cars and partygoers yelling and laughing until 3AM the very next night. We JUST WANTED TO LEAVE.
The soaking tub was nice. The room was clean. The bed was comfortable. The house itself and the landscaping were pretty. That’s about it. I really wish I could think of more positives here, but it’s difficult.
As an aspiring innkeeper myself, I have done plenty of research and have stayed at many inns throughout the past several years. This was a true lesson in what NOT to do. In fact, this was my first and only bad experience at a B&B. The things I listed above are in no way appropriate within the parameters of good business.
We stayed on March 30th and 31st. If it weren’t such a nuisance to find another place and pack all of our things up, we’d have checked out early. We were hoping for a peaceful and romantic getaway and to learn more about the area and local flavor. Instead, we were left without a single recommendation and totally disappointed.
We paid $538 dollars to stay at a potentially charming home in a bad location with someone who completely lacks tact and social graces running the place. I would never recommend this place to anyone I cared about and my husband and I would certainly never, ever consider staying at The Sanitarium again.