mmmm where do I start. Booked this hotel directly for one night. Sunday the 26th of August to be exact. I must say it is in a beautiful location and has stunning views, and probably lovely food but we didnt stay long enough to try it. On arrival the reception staff were polite enough and the place seemed clean and tidy. But as we made are way around the corridors and up the never ending stairs with lovely carpet a certain musty smell which has been mentioned before hit us. The place was also in need of a bit of tlc. Oh and no help was offered with the bags, I have a two year old!!! The room we were given must have been the worst in the whole building. It was dated, smelt funny, the window was closed and so the room was very hot and stuffy. The bathroom also needed updating and had a few cracks here and there. The bed was uncomfy and the tv tiny. The main problem was that the window was above what looked like the kitchen and a few large dirty stained fans in the kitchen roof were blowing out awful smells possibly toilets aswell. They'd put my childs bed by this too!! So combined with the hot stuffy room this was a nightmare. So we asked for another room but unfortunatly it was a bank hoilday so there was no more room at the inn. They offered us a table fan but I dont think this would have got rid of the disgusting smells. We decided to leave after also being stared at by everyone, we felt very out of place. So after driving for 5 hours at 8.30pm,bank holiday sunday I had the task of finding somewhere else nightmare! Eventually I came across the osborne hotel in torquay. We got a sea view, friendly welcome, flat screen tv, abit of old glamour, lovely bathroom and a nice comfy bed for not much more. Oh and a big chocolate brownie from room service. Result.

We booked a two night stay at this hotel and our first impressions were good. The hotel is in a lovely spot, the room was clean and tidy (although not ready when we checked in) and the food was nice. However the problems started that evening.

There was a wedding reception taking place at the hotel and the music went on until mid-night. The guests were then on the terrace (below our room) shouting until 1am and then proceeded to run around the hotel shouting, swearing and playing loud music until 5.45am. We asked at reception and were told that there was another wedding taking place that evening. It was at that point we decided to check out and go else where for the second night of our 'relaxing' weekend.

Whilst we appreciate that the hotel has functions and weddings, we felt that we should have been notified when we booked that these weddings were taking place as it isnt the cheapest place to stay, especially when you are going to be kept awake all night!

If you dont want to be kept awake until the early hours, check if there are functions booked before you book!

Having stayed at this hotel numerous times, I must say that we have ALWAYS found the service, value for money and friendliness of everyone concerned - second to none!

Nothing is ever too much trouble for any of the staff or owners.
Long may they all reign!

(Incidently.....I wonder whether anywhere is good enough for some people) Perhaps they should stay at home. As a guest - I certainly would not want them on the next table to me.

The hotel, said to be built as a hospital for troops using the local forts during the Napoleonic Wars, and also where the hymn ‘Abide with Me’ was written, is in a delightful position, quiet and overlooking the English Channel.
On arrival, the reception was functional, but with no real character or personality. We were directed to room 28, and the approach was traditional English medium grade hotel fare: browny-red carpets with large floral motifs, paintwork in functional condition but needing work done, and the slightly musty smell of old buildings with a touch of damp, and of cooked food. Room 28 was light and airy, with the suggestion it had not been long since being refurbished. The furniture was reasonable grade pine. Acknowledging the weather was a moderate gale with a relatively heavy sea running, we were dismayed to find the wind noise was quite marked, and the curtains were moving quite considerably, despite the windows being fully secured. The windows were checked, and I found the latches did not fully secure the windows into their frames, nor did the window sections fit properly. The sealed units were double-glazed but, with badly fitting frames, this was of no relevance. The room was cold, the radiator having been turned off. Because of the condition of the room, we requested another. [We were advised that, as the hotel is Grade 2 Listed, secondary double glazing was not permitted] On being shown 12a, a room facing the garden, we were quite taken aback with the condition. Grubby walls, surfaces where the paint had been rubbed off, and furniture and covers in poor condition all led to us asking for another. On showing us Room 5, we settled on this as an acceptable option.
The room had a high ceiling, and two windows overlooking the hotel front, and the coastline of Torquay. The lighting was two dull 60W lamps in the room [high wattage energy savers probably would have been better, especially if within a nice lampshade, or a couple of more decorative lighting fittings with multiple lamps], and two bedside lamps, one of which was not working. The bed was medium to soft, with clean sheets and a duvet with a cream cover under a pink throw. [It was a bit too soft for me, but my wife and I slept reasonably on both nights] The curtains and walls were all pink. The dressing table and wardrobe were medium grade budget furniture, with the dressing table top heavily scarred and with the surface disbonding from the carcass in places, akin to 'blown' chipboard after water immersion. The carpet was a shade of eggshell green, with those small flecks of tufts showing at the edges found with poorly fitted carpets. A 'portable' remote-controlled TV was provided with terrestrial and a number of satellite channels, but no Teletext. An alarm radio was also at the bedside. Hairdryer was in a drawer.
The bathroom, like in the other rooms, was contained within internal walls.The bathroom walls were pink, with white sanitaryware. The door opened onto the main entrance door, so if the door was opened at an inconvenient time, one's modesty could be compromised [or other guests given a good laugh?]. Hot water was always available, and the bath was comfortable, of reasonable depth and width, and filled rapidly. The shower head was a take-off from the bath taps, with a curtain on an L shaped rail. It was forceful, but suffered from temperature variation reflecting the use by other guests. One couldn't turn off the taps fully, and they became 'sticky' when used, so a trickle of cold water meant the hot tap had to be used to regulate the temperature. It would be in the proprietor's interest to fix the taps to save his water bills a bit. The towels were a nice white [rather than the customary grey acquired after too many washes], clean, of good size and reasonable quality. The heated towel rail was of a good size so the room and towels were warm and dry in the morning. Toiletries were sufficient and of reasonable quality. The floor was tiled, and in reasonable condition, although a couple of areas in the recesses were not so healthy looking. The area around a poorly fitted set of infill tiles behind the bath taps had been left to grow a substantial mould, but apart from that the area was generally clean. The remnants of a leak from upstairs was still clearly visible, but apart from replacement ceiling boards, it is not likely this could have been hidden, nor was it that unsightly. The shaver light was a bit dismal, and would welcome replacement when the room is done up again. Shelving was limited, so a number of our toiletries were left in the toilet bag until they were needed.
The hospitality tray was reasonably well stocked, with good quality tea and long-life milk. The coffee was not so nice, but that may have been that batch of sachets. One Cadbury’s drinking chocolate sachet was provided. The biscuits seemed a bit soggy, but they were well in date, so perhaps it is not being used to McVities digestives. Unfortunately the generously sized kettle had a defective switch, with the auto-shutoff not working. We realised this when the boiling water started to sputter out of the spout.
The room was tolerably clean in the main, although we did ask the maid to wipe the walls down: a heavy accumulation of dust, clearly visible in the light of the lamps in the evening but not so in daylight, was on two of the four walls, and thick dust was found on the skirting board under the radiator. She did the bedhead wall but neglected the wall along the bathroom. No thermostatic radiator valve was fitted, and even reducing the screw-down valve to half a turn resulted in the room baking.
Because of the strength of our complaints the first evening, it appeared the management were uncomfortable with our presence, although the waitresses and receptionists were less hostile [perhaps the younger receptionists always had a vapid look?]. A Thomson phone book from 2000 was in the room, with a pencil for phone notes, but no notepad.
There was a stated restriction on jeans and tee-shirts in the restaurant in the evenings: this could be OK if known about before arrival, but a bit niggling to be told this when there. Consequently dinner was taken in the bar area. The food was of good quality and the price was surprisingly low for both quantity and quality. The local beer was good, and an unfamiliar make of cider also went down very well indeed. It was spoiled, for me, by the lack of a non-smoking area, as the smoke permeated the whole room. A problem with the gas fire meant the bar was cold, despite a number of electrical heaters around the place. A Rotary Club do that evening meant the staff were stretched, probably the reason for a small number of requests we had to remind the waitress about. Apart from that, the service was reasonably good, and all the staff in the bar area were friendly.
Breakfast on the first morning was marred by appalling service from the man looking after the room - akin to a Blakey from 'On the Buses'. A good range of cereals was on offer, and it was pleasant to see continental meats and cheeses available. Breads and pastries were provided, but the croissants seemed either stale or of poor quality and the bread was standard supermarket plastic slices [spreading the cold butter on toast resulted in the toast deforming like play-dough]. The tea was excellent, and the coffee equally good, with a nice touch of warm milk for the latter. The cooked breakfast was a mixed bag. Poached eggs were done very nicely indeed, and the bacon on the second morning was enjoyable, the first being quite salty. The sausages had the feel of breadcrumbs and sawdust, with little to enjoy. The orange juice was from a carton, with that oily taste associated with mass-produced concentrate. The cutlery and pots looked as if they had seen many a long years’ service, and the crockery reminded me of institutional bulk purchase, with the scarring of prolonged use. However, the main breakfast plates were piping hot, and all items were clean. The heating in the room was poor, with only a couple of single radiators trying to heat the place against the cold evanating in through the sealed windows [convection rather than draughts]. It is presumed the heating system was designed to provide both the bar and the restaurant with sufficient heat during winter, but it hardly felt like it. God knows what a severe winter feels like there.
In terms of value for money, we could have stayed at one of the four- or five-star establishments in Torquay, or, if the Quayside Hotel in Brixham had been able to confirm a quiet room, in a place recognised for quality of service for less than the price we paid here. If the weather had been better, perhaps Room 28 would have made the stay a more pleasant one. Certainly the evening meal was good value for money, but little else struck me as worth a return visit. I made a poor decision, in my view, to stay here at this time. Hopefully you enjoy your stay more than we did.