It's my birthday. As a gift, S offers to help me locate the penis shrine. I didn't have any luck the last time I went looking for the place, but S manages to find it hidden behind the Swissôtel, not far from a loading dock where a couple of the kitchen staff are carving ice sculptures with a chain saw. The penises, hundreds of them tied with bows or draped with necklaces, are stacked in big shameless piles next to the canal. The origins of the shrine are murky. It seems to have been the creation of a Thai businessman who used to own the property back in the early years of the 20th century. Besides the carved penises that come in a variety of styles and sizes, visitors have left behind all sorts of offerings: bowls of fruit, bottles of red Fanta soda, and even a few elegant silk dresses in plastic dry cleaning bags hung from the banyan trees. I read that the shrine is dedicated to Chao Mae Tuptim, an ancient tree spirit who specializes in human reproduction. A good number of the folks who visit the shrine are couples hoping to get pregnant. S and I spend a while in this little garden of penises. Once we've gotten the dumb jokes out of our system, I begin to appreciate the loveliness of the spot, and the earnestness of all these phalluses, each one a little prayer.

With the move to Nai Lert Park Heritage home, there has been a significant downgrade in the amount of phalluses. I visited 13 years ago and my wife was pregnant the month after the trip, coincidence maybe. Fun story to tell definitely I wouldn’t visit again as it all seems a bit “flaccid” now