I really don't know where to start. We were 5 grown men on a 4 day cycling tour around the Wye valley and had "accidentally" booked into the Merton Hotel for a night (my fault). When we arrived we all said "This place must be closed, it looke like a bomb site". There was a scrawled note on the door which said "If you want to get in, call this mobile number". What a welcome! You could almost hear the "Battling Banjos" theme tune from within, as the guy who eventually openedthe door was full on Deliverance. He took us and out bikes round to the rear yard which was the most filthy scene I had seen in ages, including a dozen plastic 5-gallon tubs of black, sickening cooking fat. To our relief, the first thing he said was "We are not doing any breakfasts at the moment, there's a Wetherspoons across the road". I never thought I would be relieved to hear that sentence.. As we entered the "hotel", we gagged at the stench of the place - the furniture, the curtains, the stair carpets. It STANK BEYOND BELIEF. Then we noticed they were decorating the place, and we discovered they were hosting a 50th Borthday party that night. To our horror, we were told that they had a a 2am license. When I told the owner that he really ought to have told us about this before we arrived, he said "You won't hear anything in the rooms, and if you decide to leave we won't be refunding you". The rooms were exactly as we expected (appalling) so we left fo go for dinner as soon as possible, When we arrived back at 10pm, there were already several drunken bodies strewn across the place, oddly two of them were dressed in Superman costumes. Two of our party left at once, and true to his word, the owner refused to refund them. The loud thumping music and screaming & shouting, and drunken fighting kept us all awake until well beyond 2:30. At 7am we went to MacDonalds for breakfast and it was the highlight of our stay at the Merton Hotel. If you ever decide to stay here, you deserve everything you get. Whatever you do, do not stay here,…