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commitment wedding

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Buffalo, New York
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commitment wedding

we are looking for a commitment wedding. We are heterosexual but cannot legally be married in the States because I will lose my social security benefits and pension brought on from my deceased husband and I'm looking to remarry again. We are staying at couples swept away but we were told they only do legal weddings and not just commitment weddings. We do not want to cancel our trip and are so looking forward to going but now have this major setback. Can anyone help?

Malvern, United...
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574 posts
20 reviews
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1. Re: commitment wedding

Can't you have a blessing?.

I'm unsure if this is the wrong thing to say however, I'm going to say it.

This gets me angry. Marriage shouldn't be on condition that ?????. Marriage is about a lifelong commitment to the one you love, through sickness and in health, for richer for poorer etc etc. I am sorry you lost your husband Kim, genuinely I am. However, surely if your fiancé and you are ready to start your new life, then why don't you? Balls to the social security and pension. I'd rather be with my husband as his wife. Money can't buy the love I have for my husband and vice versa (I asked him his view also) I know which I'd choose.........my husband is priceless!!!.

Think about it Kim.

P.S. I hope this hasn't come across as me being mean because I'm not. BIG HUG!

Maritimes
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319 posts
7 reviews
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2. Re: commitment wedding

I understand Kim. SS and pension is a big deal. Its a shame you would loose it because you remarry. Is there any way around that?

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25 posts
9 reviews
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3. Re: commitment wedding

There are many wedding planners in Negril who could answer your question...my fiancé and I are using Opia Plumber to help plan our private wedding; she is excellent to deal with and very knowledgeable. You can contact her at Roots Cafe...you'll find the number online. Or email her at opianegrilweddings@yahoo.com

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25 posts
9 reviews
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4. Re: commitment wedding

There are many wedding planners in Negril who could answer your question...my fiancé and I are using Opia Plummer to help plan our private wedding; she is excellent to deal with and very knowledgeable. You can contact her at Roots Cafe...you'll find the number online. Or email her at opianegrilweddings@yahoo.com

Virginia Beach...
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978 posts
33 reviews
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5. Re: commitment wedding

This too may sound bad, but could you book a vow renewal, but in your eyes it would be a commitment ceremony? No one has to know you are not already married. Just a thought on how to get around actually getting married!

New England
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2,463 posts
17 reviews
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6. Re: commitment wedding

Why not have a friend or loved one perform the ceremony? It would be more intimate and private for the two of you....

I'm also kind of on the anti-conditional marriage, but if you are dependent on the money from your first spouse, I suppose you have to do what's right for you.

Best of luck

Illinois
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5,154 posts
31 reviews
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7. Re: commitment wedding

I agree with Sheila-mike, do the vow renewal, and in your hearts it will be a commitment ceremony.

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8. Re: commitment wedding

kim

If I were to plan the type of ceremony you are looking for, a symbolic ceremony, I would contact one of the smaller boutique resorts like Catcha Falling Star. The ladies who plan different ceremonies on property will be able to steer you in the right direction.

Depending when you are traveling (high or low season) and depending on resort occupancy and ceremony schedules you may be able to book one night at Catcha and hold your ceremony there. I would book Sagittarius or Libra for one night if there is an opening between existing reservations (even though you are staying at CSA) for a romantic escape after your symbolic ceremony.

It may be a requirement for you to stay at Catcha to have the ceremony there, you will have to contact Catcha to find out. The ceremonies I have witnessed at Catcha have been beautiful and intimate with a breathtaking back drop off the cliffs to the sea.

Congratulations, good luck and enjoy your stay in Negril!

Michigan
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1,729 posts
12 reviews
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9. Re: commitment wedding

Kim you are not the only person in this situation, which is unfortunate. I certainly don't blame you, I don't know your age, but being of a certain age, you need to look to these things to help you navigate through life and be sure that you are not living in squalor in your later years. After all, your husband wanted to make sure that you were provided for, which is also a very important factor here. One of the benefits of him working hard was that his family would be provided for if anything should happen to him. Your future "husband" may already have previous obligations to children and what not, to not be able to provide for you in the same way, heaven forbid.

I have a few friends who are in your situation, and I have told them the same thing, have the ceremony, just don't file the paperwork, because frankly it does come down to the paperwork. Don't get me wrong, I am a believer in love and the sanctity of marriage, but I also am very practical and can remove the rose colored glasses for common sense sake.

I was just married at CSA, and I like the idea of another poster, maybe just have a "vow renewal" which really is similar, although I am not sure of the words that are used during the ceremony, but I believe no paperwork is filed for this. You may want to check on the Couples message board, maybe someone there can help you out with this.

You must do what feels right for you and your situation, and what you and your future "husband" agree upon. I've had discussions on this topic with many friends, and everyone's situation is different, some people "benefit" by marriage and some do not. It's a personal decision to make.

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10. Re: commitment wedding

kim

A vow renewal (as others have recommended with good intentions) will require you to produce a marriage certificate in advance of your arrival in JA. This type of ceremony does not fit your circumstances. As I previously mentioned, a symbolic ceremony will.

Taken from the Couples website (this requirement will apply at other venues as well):

<Vow renewals require marriage certificates to be received in Couples Wedding Office 45 days prior to ceremony date.>