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How do I tell my friend I don't want her to come with us to...

Canada
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How do I tell my friend I don't want her to come with us to...

How do I tell a friend that I only want her and her husband to join my husband and me next year in Cancun is "if she's not pregnant"? (We haven't booked yet.)

She told us a month ago that they want to come with us next winter. But now she's talking about getting pregnant this summer and how cute she'll look in her bikini with her pregnant belly!

I know it sounds horrible, but it's a waste of my money to book an all-inclusive trip knowing that I'll be the one stuck sitting in the shade, sober with her while everyone else is out partying it up. Honestly, my husband and I would have way more fun going alone that with her not being able to do the same things that we enjoy on our vacations (like drinking and sitting in the sun all day).

It's not a matter of if I can have a good time with my pregnant friend, it's a matter of my decision being I don't want to travel with her if she's pregnant! We planned this trip for just the two of us and they decided to tag along (and we said okay because they didn't mention getting pregnant at that time).

Any suggestions on breaking it to her without hurting her feelings or our friendship?

omaha, ne
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2,259 posts
6 reviews
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1. Re: How do I tell my friend I don't want her to come with us to...

Just do what JJS would do.. call her names and demean her.

Alexandria, VA
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44 posts
1 review
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2. Re: How do I tell my friend I don't want her to come with us to...

Say that you and your husband have talked about it and you've decided to make it like a second honeymoon and talk about how you can't wait to just be together, etc... and how maybe there's another trip the four of you can go on, before she get prego or even while, etc...

JJS
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699 posts
5 reviews
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3. Re: How do I tell my friend I don't want her to come with us to...

Masterdmann:

Don't you have a field to plow or some corn to shuck?

Go drink a mountain dew Casper.

Omaha, Nebraska
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1,611 posts
38 reviews
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4. Re: How do I tell my friend I don't want her to come with us to...

uh oh

toronto
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81 posts
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5. Re: How do I tell my friend I don't want her to come with us to...

i would tell her its not safe to be in the sun and heat and not safe to beon planes while prego and that she may also get really swallon too with the heat andwater retetion or just tell her the truth and be a good friend.... tell her that you guys do party and are looking forward to having fun and that if she cant keep up that you will be going out you and your hubby and that you arnt going to be sitting around and if she still wants to go then she can hook up with you guys when its convient.She'll appreciate your honesty if shes a true friend,just try to break it to her a little more gentle. If your worried about what she looks like in a bathing suit, dont be cause people will know why she big and im sure she probably wont be the only one, plus there are people who wear bikini's at the resorts that really shouldn't if you know what i mean.

Northern Suburb of...
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1,150 posts
7 reviews
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6. Re: How do I tell my friend I don't want her to come with us to...

oh my...

I think I would discuss with her how if she is pregnant

and gets sick over there..how bad it would be for the baby..

AND also...that depending on how far along she is...flying

any length of time is also not good for the baby. But..with that

said...I would go with...my husband decided he wants it to be

just the 2 of us. Please do not feel bad...but we really need

this time alone to ourselves. If she is really your friend she

will understand. Good Luck

ottawa, on
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36 posts
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7. Re: How do I tell my friend I don't want her to come with us to...

i dont blame you one bit..Id just tell her that you want it to be just you and your boyfriend..you dont even have to mention her situation..im sure she will understand..and if youve never travelled with your boyfriend you can use that as an excuse .( it will be romantic..first rip together..etc)

New York City, New...
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8. Re: How do I tell my friend I don't want her to come with us to...

I must agree it's tough spending your hard earned money on a vacation with someone you can't fully enjoy things with. That is perfectly understandable. One, you can go with her and tell her that you and your husband will be doing alot of things that she might not want to do, so ask her if she would mind splitting up alot during the vacation (that is: you go together but do mostly separate things as couples). That can work since you can meet up with them for dinner a few times or every night if you like, and just do all the other stuff separately. Be firm with that arrangement. If they want you with them the whole time that might not work. Two, you can just tell her in your kindest words that you would worry too much about her and that would kinda ruin the vacation.

US
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486 posts
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9. Re: How do I tell my friend I don't want her to come with us to...

If she is really your friend, don't lie to her or give her some lame excuse. Be honest and tell her why you don't want them tagging along.

Calgary, Canada
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10. Re: How do I tell my friend I don't want her to come with us to...

I would point out to her that Cancun is a party place, and she may not enjoy it if she's unable to drink. And she's also going to be going through hormonal changes, and be uncomfortable. Not a time I would want to be away from my own bed.

Or, you could just let her know all the things you plan to do, and if she's not going to be able to participate, you won't stay back to hang out with her.

Travelling with friends can be difficult at the best of times. I have a friend that I have barely spoken to since we went to San Francisco together last year. We just wanted to do completely different things and ended up resenting the others presence because we couldn't do what we wanted to. If we had agreed at the beginning that we didn't need to be attached at all times, we all would have had a better time. She will be in the group coming to Cancun this time. And I've invited her to some of the tours my husband and I plan to do. But if she doesn't want to come, I'll just go without her.