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I am agonizing over a trip decision.

Chesterfield, Mich.
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3,679 posts
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I am agonizing over a trip decision.

Well, it doesn't look like anything is going to change for the better with my DH and his job. It just isn't going to work out for both of us to get a trip planned to Hawaii. I know I sound like a whiney baby, but I CAN'T wait more years to go. It has already been four years!

The longing desire to go back is just driving me crazy.

I have discussed this with DH before now, and he is okay with me going. He would like it if I found someone to go with me, but that has not worked out so far. I guess maybe the people I know just aren't as nuts about Hawaii as I am. Even though another person and myself would be splitting hotel and car costs, no one is wanting to go.

I think I need to go before school starts again for my grandson, he lives with me and DH. I believe I can rely on ex-DH to keep GS. My DH works a crazy shift, so I need to make sure GS is with someone else during the time I'd be gone. Once school starts, there aren't any plans that would work out. Ex-DH lives in another town.

I'd like it if I could go to Hawaii when we have cold weather here, but I guess I have to live with other plans. I'm currently looking at August 18th., returning August 29th. I'm thinking of doing a split between Maui and Oahu. I wish I could make use of the weekdays leading up to Labor Day weekend, but GS wants to sign up for 7th. grade football and conditioning starts Aug. 30th. :( :(

School doesn;t begin till Sept. 7th.

Hoping I'm not making a mistake going at this time of year. I just don't see another option. Any thoughts on this time of year will be overly hot, and possibly make me regret this decision?

I know I have been contemplating this solo trip for a while now. Two things playing the biggest part are Guilt for going without DH(my issue) and going in August. What's a Hawaii addict to do??

Oxnard, California
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21. Re: I am agonizing over a trip decision.

I have travelled to Hawaii on 9 occasions over the past 23 years. Eight of those times I went "solo", and thoroughly enjoyed myself. There is nothing selfish about wanting to spoil oneself, so if you can swing it, I say DO IT!! You will enjoy yourself I'm sure. :-)

Modesto
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460 posts
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22. Re: I am agonizing over a trip decision.

This is so funny! As I've posted a few times so far, I (we) are arriving end of August. Basically I said,,, "I am going.Here are the dates, I've already cleared it with your work, your mother, our children, the animals, the yard, and if you can still come up with another excuse, then I will have to spend OUR 25th anniversary by myself in Maui!" I can't even pull out the mango scented hand lotion without longing for the sweet scented air that hits you as soon as you take a breath of air out of the plane! So I just handed him the file with all of the air, hotel, and car rental info, and said "anything you'd like to change or add?" So here we come!

Island of Hawaii...
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for Hilo, Island of Hawaii
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23. Re: I am agonizing over a trip decision.

Late, but ... travelling solo can be great. You really get to be with yourself, see yourself, and of course do what you want each day.

I had two solo trips in my mid-40's, one to Northern Italy and one to Japan, and both in regions where very few people spoke English. Talk about solo ... going for a week without having a conversation with another person ... yet both were amazing trips. The challenges mostly had to with language barrier, which you won't have.

I took one solo trip to Lana'i, which I loved in a way, but there were so many honeymooners around me. Honeymooners are not the best company for a woman travelling alone (IMHO). Better if you can find a place where everyone isn't there for romance. No doubt you can find that.

My least favorite part of solo travel is dining alone. I'm OK with it, but sometimes they don't attend to the lone diner as well. Again, just a matter of picking the right places ... the good news is it's easier to eat and spend less on your own.

The only thing I won't do alone is swim in the ocean; pools and jacuzzi's are my friends if I don't have a buddy.

Have a great trip.

Chesterfield, Mich.
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3,679 posts
11 reviews
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24. Re: I am agonizing over a trip decision.

Thank you everyone for your encouraging words.

Deedas, too funny! Has your DH given in to the idea? I like how you went about it!

Gig Harbor...
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25. Re: I am agonizing over a trip decision.

Deedas - that is some determination! Love it. Happy Anniversary!

KK - what a trip that must have been, but then I knew you had chutzpah!

JC - how is that new job going anyway? So next year they owe you vacation time!

To all - when all was finally said and done I made some major realizations. What would I have done differently? I would have gone earlier - when the idea was hot and wish I not sweated over it. I would have done it like my 'original' idea - taken a change of clothes and my guitar and just go. I left the guitar at home, left the ukelele at home - new rule #1, " if not taking DH ya gotta take some strings". ( Rule#2 is even if he is going your really ought to.) Rule #3 is remember yourself and learning to just be. Remember baby steps are fine sometimes, but honestly you just have to take that leap sometimes.

Oh, traveling alone also left me thinking I was in for a long flight - not so, had great seat mates both ways. My only reading material that I took for companionship was "Phenomenal Woman" by Maya Angelou - seemed fittin'.

Once upon a time I would have gaped in astonishment at the very idea - but learning is a requirement for life - so live and learn.

Chesterfield, Mich.
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3,679 posts
11 reviews
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26. Re: I am agonizing over a trip decision.

Thank you LesRose for your wonderful thoughts/advice/insight. ALL of you have made me "exhale"! I feel a burden lifted. I am going to do this! I am excited at the thought of it! I am NOT going to feel GUILTY.

I had four hours of driving to do today. It should have been 2 hours! Hold ups on the road going and returning were awful! (Brighton Bill, 96 near Wixom :( :( Lots of time to think. And before I got started on the drive, I had a talk with DH. He said if I want to plan to go other than in August, say Oct, he will use vacation time if he has to so I can go, if need be. He said if I wait till Jan, or Feb., when he could very well be laid off, it will work out too. So he has given me more options. Note: if it weren't for school(grandson) we could all go, but that isn't the case. 2nd. note: after Sept. 29th., DH will have a week's vacation.

So now I just have to figure out when to go!! Right now we are in the middle of a heat wave, so it's hard to look at August and get excited. I would love to go in October. And I also think Jan or Feb would be good.

Are either Jan or Feb ok months to go to Hawaii?? I'm pretty sure it will be Maui and Oahu.

Thanks to ALL of you.

Modesto
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460 posts
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27. Re: I am agonizing over a trip decision.

Yes, he is finally getting used to the idea. I even asked him about a Luau last night and he actually took a moment and pondered. I told him I would give him the info about the options I have learned on this forum, and we would talk about it this week. We are from two different pods, but isn't that how love works? I left for Europe when I was 18 with an open-ended return ticket and a couple of traveling companions and the understanding that at anytime we could go our separate ways with no problems. I came home by myself three months later,,,homesick, lonely, and much more humble. I learned some great life lessons, but most importantly that I could do just about anything I wanted by myself, if needed and I wanted to. He on the other hand is totally content to stay put on his time off. I teased him with the kids once and said "aren't you glad your Dad married me and we had you two, because otherwise you'd be sitting at home watching the weeds grow on vacation!!".

Chesterfield, Mich.
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3,679 posts
11 reviews
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28. Re: I am agonizing over a trip decision.

LOL!! Yeah for some reason weeds are amazing. I don't see it, but some do.

I am anticipating all kinds of reactions from people/family members when I announce that I am going solo to Hawaii. I'm thinking this will need to be a separate thread here!! I actually am looking forward to hearing what comments I will get. Guaranteed, my mother-in-law's will be the best!

I will be busying myself with checking air availability. I'd like to stick with Delta ONLY because we have a bunch of miles I'd like to make use of.

I am actually thinking I may even DESERVE to go First Class. (have the miles for it) Or maybe a combo of miles and cash. I'd do cash for coach and upgrade to First class with miles, only if the cash part is a good deal to begin with.

I think I may start a new post. I would like thoughts from all of you on what month to go. Some of that will depend on airline stuff. I'm thinking I will probably cross off August. It just isn't really my preferred time to go.

Keep an eye out for a new post/topic from me.

Thanks everyone.

California
Destination Expert
for Oahu
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45,244 posts
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29. Re: I am agonizing over a trip decision.

PATTI! -- January/February - Maui - whales! Be there!

Hana, Hawaii
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30. Re: I am agonizing over a trip decision.

Seems we've had a lot of "gal opinions" here Pattie. And you know what? I agree with them all!

So from this one "guy's perspective" you should go and treat yourself like a Queen Miss Pattie! I've gone solo about 3 times on Maui trips; does take a bit of getting used to, but heck, you're a strong intelligent person with a great personality.

So "GO FOR IT"! As for your DH, HE should be worried a bit no? After all, Caddy is in Hana, Maui you know. You have my personal invite to come over and visit us at the "Ted K Cabin II". LOL. Thanks to JC for the name and the image that is conjured up in my my at the thought of it!

Aloha to Maui Pattie...and don't forget the TR!