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More of a Taster of things' to come Maldives part 4

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More of a Taster of things' to come Maldives part 4

To you All

          i am still trying to play catch up, and Life is still very hectic since our return. Here is a bit more for those that have been asking.

And yes i know the spelling grammar is off but hey give me a chance ;-)

Best wishes as ever to you all xxxx

So here I am, sat in front of my Computer, finally finding time to write up our Month away.

This will include the Start of the Holiday, the planning that went into it, and shall cover various Hotels, and places we stayed in and eat at.

I have thought about how to make it both Fun to Read, and at the same time, contain relevant information a Traveller may find of use. The format I have decided upon, I hope is the correct One, but as ever, you the Reader, will I’m sure, feed back to me how it is.

Sit back, relax and prepare with me, to re-visit and re-live this Holiday and I hope you enjoy.

Monday 22nd September 1405 Hr’s

We arrived at Terminal 4, the choice of Sri Lanka Airlines, much too early.

As is the norm, we were many Hours ahead of schedule, much to the dismay of “She who must be obeyed”

“Why do we have to get to the Airport early” she said?

Ever since I have been Travelling (which is a lot) I have seen fit to arrive Hours before a Flight, reasons are as follows a) Allow extra Time in case of problems on route, b) Get bearings at Airport, c) View items for Sale in Shops, d) Suss out Smoking areas, e) get rid of Heavy Suitcases, f) Because I can, and do!

Anyway I stray away from the Journey we are about to embark on, so let us get back on track.

It was nearly 18 Months prior, I started planning this Holiday. It was a case of getting as many Holiday Booklets as possible, reading reviews of Hotels, looking on the Net, picking out where, when , we wished to Travel, and then employing the Kuoni Staff at the end of the Phone.

After Months of viewing all information gained we had it narrowed down to our chosen Places? The only criteria, was that it involved the Serendib Hotel in Sri Lanka (more about this Hotel later)

So here we were, sat in Terminal 4, at Café Nero, drinking Lattes as if they were going out of Fashion, opposite Zone A, awaiting the Gate to open, in order we got rid of our Suitcases.

Suitcases are a word that haunts me, for I always tell Mrs’ Lifesaver pack light. Oh if only I should heed my own advice, and I hang my Head in Shame, for already prior to departing, mine is 5 Kilos over the Weight allowed.

No matter how hard I try, by the time mine is loaded up with Flippers, Mask, Books, Tee Shirts it always seems’ to be Heavier, than Mr’s Lifesavers !!

Now I have a theory why this might be, for as I checked one last time, inside my Case was objects I never use!! An example is Hair Straightness, Conditioner, Funny shaped Combs and the strangest device yet, a type of Comb thingy to hold open your Toes whilst you Paint your Nails. Never have I owned One, brought One, or placed into my Case One, so how the Hell in got into my Case is beyond me !!

Sudoko only keeps a Person quiet for so long, as does Girly Flick Mags and before long Mrs’ Lifesaver starts sighing, along with the Question how long now? Just a bit longer I coo, you always say that, and with a glare that would Freeze a Pond, She returns back to the latest exploits of Jordan and Peter.

What concerns me now about Travelling is the No Smoking Policy that is enforced. In effect, this means that by having to go outside, I Smoke far more than I normally would of Years ago, as I cram into my Lungs, more Smoke in a Shorter Time, making up for the No Smoking, Stupid Policies in place ( confusing isn’t it ? )

At last after no signs of any action round the Gate, Staff are starting to appear. Yippee.


When the Cases are on there way (I hope they go on the correct belt, I hope they do not burst open, I hope they are labelled correctly, and I hope oh yes I really, really hope no Dogs Pee on them, or worse still, decides to S**T on them ) it is the real beginning of the Holiday.

1630 Hrs’ and the Gate remains closed, I went up to ask somebody and was told, err around 1800 Hrs’ Sir, oops best I not tell Mr’s Lifesaver. “Well what Time does it open? “ She asks on my return, “not long Lurv” I reply.

Well we have finally done it at 1700 Hrs’ we are the 1st in the queue.

After watching them lay out the isles, and tape off the sections, in order us, the paying Public, form an orderly queue. I stood up in Café Nero and said to Mr’s Lifesaver “lets’ go”.

Just for a moment she faltered, but after all our waiting any action was somewhat welcomed by her, so off we trotted right up to the front.

You know what? I didn’t care, everybody was looking at us as if we were Mad, for I just looked straight back at them, all the time thinking HA, HA we are First we are First.

Some of my Fellow Travellers Faces faltered, I could see in there Eyes doubt, did I know something they did not. Why were just us Two standing at the desk, smug as you like? And before long a slow trickle, then a small rush was made, everybody slotting in behind us. And hey ho, what do you know; we are no longer the only People standing in line. Behind us Snakes a Green envious line of Travellers, and multi coloured Cases and the Odd Child (please God do not let them be sat near us) who is laughing now then I think?

1830 Hrs’ and we are the First to have our Cases weighed.

Five Kilos over for me, and Four for Mrs’ Lifesaver. “Billy how did that happen?” She asks, “You told me to Pack light“, erm “I don’t know” says I. Ha Ha, I fooled her, when she was not looking I slipped into hers’ some of my stuff, thus putting her over the Weight limit.

Check in is going Smoothly, a very pleasant Young Lady is doing the Paperwork when I feel a dig to my Ribs, and I am alerted to the quiet Hiss“ Don’t you dare “ never the less I try very hard for the Bump up a Class, and just for One Minute I think it may be working.

As nice as the Girl is, and Twenty Years less than me, as Handsome, witty and a all round a jolly good fellow I am, and although I am with my Wife, ALL flattery fails, and Today She has missed out on landing a great catch like myself, LOL NOT.

Boarding passes in Hand we stroll pass the Snake of People (HA, HA) yet to get within sight of the Check in Desk, and saunter with a smug grin, outside for another Cigarette.

As I turn to look at Mrs’ Lifesaver, her Hair Blowing across her Face, drizzle coming down from the Sky, Smoke being whipped away by the Wind faster than One can smoke the Cigarette, I quietly sigh, and think this is one of the Reasons I Married Her, for People, She does not even Smoke, and is just keeping me company (I love you Mrs’ Lifesaver) a true One in a Million.

We agree a plan of action, another cigarette; find Toilets, then through into Passport Control. Back inside absolutions done, it is into Passport Control, so far, so good, onto the X-Ray Machines and the Scanners that you walk through, and this, I don’t know about you, is where I normally have problems and get pulled aside.

This Trip through X-Ray, I have, I hoped, covered this time. I am wearing a new Cotton Tracksuit, Tee Shirt and Bright Orange Trainers and Sport a New Holiday Haircut.

Now do not get me wrong, I am Happy to have lots of Security if it means my mode of Transport is that bit safer, but why is it I always get stopped? Well not this time I mutter to myself, as I have no belt, no Shoes, no Metal anything, and just a Small carry on Bag.

I am about to sail right on through when I am told “sorry Sir, you cannot go in the Scanner like that, place your Bag in this Tray, oh ok as I set off again I hear, “hold it please Sir, can you please take you top off” erm ok, never been asked that before, and it is then ok to enter the Scanner.

I’m through, no bleeps, blips, and whistle, no nothing. “Move on Sir” and I collect from the roller tray, my Bag.

I now await Mrs’ Lifesaver, “everything ok Lurv?” I ask, “yes” she reply’s “never had my top off” I say,” told you, that you looked dodgy with that Haircut” says her. Bless her, she then told me that whilst waiting for me to go through, she asked if she too had to remove her top and was told, not unless you want too (it was a Male who said that mind you) as you are a Women. (So much for equality eh Chaps?)

Now Terminal 4 has many Shops, more than enough to suit everybody, but really what it lacks is a Bloody Smoking room, or anywhere to have a Smoke. So be warned, once Airside, that is your lot until you land.

To take my mind off a Cigarette I decide to take Mrs’ Lifesaver Shopping, reckless I know, but I do Love her, and it will keep me in her good Books. On this occasion she shows little interest, and it is me who spends as if I have won the Lottery. What is getting her excited is the promise to Dine, and Gartfunkles beckons. Meal was ok, what one expects from an establishment that has the Airside customer base. The Food was not bad, not good, just ok.

The time comes to Board, now where the Hell is Gate Ten? Oops, it is behind us, now how come I never spotted that after walking up and down for 20 Mins “Open your Eyes Billy” Mrs’ Lifesaver says.

Traveller Tip--- wait until almost everybody is on the Plane even though they might call your seat Number, that means you are not fighting for overhead locker space or just standing in the aisle waiting for fellow Passengers to be seated. By following this Tip almost everybody is settled, and a slow trundle ensures all that remains is to take your Seat.

Shock Horror, how the Bloody Hell has this happened? Our Seats are apart, very far apart. Eleven Hours’ Flying, and I am not sat with Mrs’ Lifesaver, hmmm as tempting as it is, there is NO WAY I will stand for this. Oops, I meant She will stand for this, LOL, after all I would never hear the end of it.

A quiet word in the Stewardess Ear, a very Sad Face, and a whisper that my Wife CANNOT Fly apart from me ( very nervous you see, and you will have to have a Staff Member with her at Take off and Landing ) and Job done, we are together moved up to the front of the Plane away from the masses.

(RESULT) A Big thank you to Sri Lankan Airlines.

The Flight, well for many Years we have Flown Sri Lankan Airlines both Cattle Class and V.I.P class. Yes the Planes are a little bit more frayed around the edges (Emirates are no longer with Sri Lankan Airlines so maybe why!) but level of service is still top Class.

Seat Pitch good, Food good, in House Movies and entertainment good, and Flights normally on Time.

You get a Blanket, Pillow, FREE Food and Drinks, and as the Genie said your wish is my command.

All in all very good, and we will continue to use again.

23rd September


One Hour out from Male and the excitement is building within me. The odd Atoll can be viewed Green and Blue, a blinding Turquoises flash, as if some Beast lurks in the Water below, sometimes looking up Skywards at the Planes that Fly High overhead.

My Ears are popping as we slowly come down from our High Height. The Atolls becoming more and more. It is almost as if God himself has flicked a Paint Brush with every Palate of Blue, across an Ocean, Inky Black.

Almost here, almost here, I can hear the chant in my Head start up, I am unsure even if I am chanting it aloud. A Mantra that these past 18 Months I almost believed would never happen, no matter how many times I said it, no matter how hard I wished it or Posted on, How Many Days Now ? J

Touch down, we have arrived. Good Morning Male, I am sorry we have been away so long, but we are here, and I promise as I have, each time I have come, to give you my up most attention, and never forsake you for any other. You are the thing I love the most, you are what makes our lives worthwhile, and please, please do not worry about Mrs’ Lifesaver, for she loves you as much as me.

Today we visit one of you Beautiful Children called Komandoo.

Off the Plane and I wonder why is it that after arriving into Heaven, Satan is here?

I can feel his Hot, Hot breathe blowing over me, I can feel myself getting warmer, starting to Sweat, and am almost at the point of ripping my Track Suit off, but the Fifty Yard Walk takes me into the Cool Calm of the immigration Halls. What Madness was it that gripped me out in the Dazzling Sunlight?

Male Immigration is NEVER busy, it is normally just your Plane and maybe one other, and so Queues are not an issue.

Passports are stamped after a Five Minute wait, and a Small stroll takes us over to the already moving belt that contains Cases.

My Case is festooned in Bright Purple Ribbon Mrs’ Lifesaver Pink. Easy to spot and I guess another Traveller tip, for ease of confirming you have the Correct Case!!

Already it seems much too surreal, are we really here? Can it be true? After Dreaming of something for soooooooooooo long, planning every detail, we are here again, and it is like we have never been away.

Already I am Smooching with my true Love, and guess what? Mrs’ Lifesaver does not mind. How many other Wife’s allow there Husband to conduct an affair of the Heart, right under there Nose. I am indeed, a lucky Chap.

Now where was I? Oh Yes, clearing Customs. A Ten Second Walk is all it takes to walk right through Customs, and find the Kuoni Rep outside the Door holding a Clipboard aloft.

We are directed to a Small Blue desk, where by a confirmation of Tickets are exchanged, a lovely Photo Book wrapped is given to Mrs’ Lifesaver, and we are redirected to another next Door desk.

Boarding passes are issued for the Sea Plane, a Young Lad then tows our Cases across the Hall, and they are weighed along with our Hand Baggage. “Psssst” goes Mrs’ Lifesaver, “have we got to be weighed as well?” (The look in her Eye tells me I could probably get some Fun out of this, but past occurrences spring to mind that it will come back to me ten fold) I say “no”!

We are then directed to the waiting Bus, and it is at this point I remember I have not Smoked a Cigarette for Hours (if I lived here I think I might stop) The Terminal is still the same as always, everybody quietly going about there business, the Roar of the Lisster Petter Marine Engines in the Harbour, as the Ferries ply there routes to waiting Tourists and Locals alike, the whine of the Sea Planes coming into Land and taking off.

Now Guys, if all this last bit sounds as if it is a real load of Hassle, nipping here, going there, with Hand on Heart, it is the easiest Terminal to find yourself in. And even if it is your First time in Male, do not worry there isn’t any need.

I have already Sung Mrs’ Lifesavers praises, and as I light up with the Sun Beating down, she stands by wilting, as only a Rose can, waiting for me.

No sooner than I have had Two Puffs then I am prompted to get on the Bus. What is this? Have I been Dreaming? It is freezing, the Sweat at once seemingly covering me in a layer of Ice. But of course it is the Air Con, blasting out Icy Air.

Something here in the U.K, we hardly ever have a use for, and after standing outside in Thirty plus Temps, then it will feel Freezing.

Doors shut, a quiet Hiss as the Airbrakes release and a Five Minute Trip takes us around the Terminal to the Sea Plane Departure Lounge. First Group dropped off and we higher Mortals, LOL and those going to Komandoo, are then taken to the V.I.P Departure bit, where we are greeted by a Young Lady and ushered into a set of Double Doors, and further invited into the Lounge its self.

There is a Small rush as Loved up Couples strive to bag a place in the recliner Chairs made for two. Mr’s Lifesaver rolls her Eyes, and I know just what she means.

Seated, we are welcomed and Drinks and Food orders taken. All paperwork is double checked and Island forms handed out to fill in. We are then told we will depart in about One Hour.

Now I have heard Folks moan about waiting, but honestly this Lounge is great, and Two to Three Hours would not be an issue. Any longer, then I would feel I was missing out on the Island, but remember some Islands are out quite a way out, and it makes sense to fill the Planes up prior to Departure. Then dropping off, NEVER collecting, on route to yours. (On most occasions’)

In what seems like a flash, the Young Lady informs us that we are ready to go. Through a doorway, a short stroll over Floating Pontoons, and yes we are embarking upon the Sea Plane. Traveller Tip get your Camera, Bottle of Water or what makes you flight more enjoyable out of the Hand luggage, as this is stored to the rear of the Plane, and once seated, it makes it very hard to get access again.

Now the only way to Travel, and arrive at Islands is by Sea Plane. The views are to die for, so if ever possible, opt for this mode of Transport to an Island.

A brief Flight instruction is given by the Bear Foot Pilot or his First Mate, and we Taxi out.

Slowly past other Planes, Baby Basking Sharks, multi Coloured Fish, Engines are fully engaged and throttles pushed forward.

With them now screaming at fervour pitch, the Splash, Splash, thud, thud as the Waves are hit time and time again, we rocket across the Water.

Unease descends around the Cabin, as it seems we will never get Air borne.

Yea Gods, will it never cease, this Screaming, Roaring, Splashing sound, that blots out every thought process you strive to hang onto, and silence, we are Airborne, climbing Higher and Higher, banking First Left, then Right, up, up, each Island coming into view, shinning brightly amongst the Deep Blue Azure of the Sea, as we fly over them.

Much too soon the Plane dips gently, lower, and lower, and our First glimpse of Komandoo that we will call Home for the next Week, comes into view.

Oh how beautiful, White Beaches, Sky Blue Sea, mixed with pockets of Green and surrounded by a Reef, Grey and Black in Colour, and in contrast to every other Shade of Blue that we are surrounded by.

A large Splash welcomes us down, a brief Roar of the Engines as they are throttled back and silence, we are along side a floating pontoon, with a Boat already waiting to take us to Land.

Alighting off the Plane, a selection of Weary Sweaty Travellers, greets me. Side by side we sit on the Boat, watching as our Cases are unloaded off the Plane. OOPS, one of our cases is missing and guess what, the One we have has Purple Ribbon on it.

I re alight to ask the Captain its whereabouts, “do not worry, due to Weight, it is following on” he says, leaving it to me to inform Mrs’ Lifesaver.

When I retake my Seat, alongside with Mrs’ Lifesaver, She is looking shocked.

She knows something is up, and for a Minute, all sorts of things flash through my mind, as to how, and what I can say to get out of this hiccup about the missing Case.

Time seems to slow down and stop, as while it has not been me loading up cases onto the Plane, and any Court in the World ,would NEVER find me guilty of any involvement concerning the Case, it is me her Husband, that shall pay the Price.

“Darling” says me, “it would appear due to Weight, your Case is following on later“

 I raise my Head and look into Her Eyes (hoping see can see great sorrow in mine) and try as I might cannot force a Tear out to prove how sorry I am.

Well “why was it mine, not yours” she asks, “When is it coming? “What am I going to do? And what if it doesn’t turn up?” “Well, erm, the thing is, they have said it will be here, and it is not only yours Darling, a few other Peoples have also not turned up”.

At this point a realization hit me, that maybe I was related to Lord Voldemort or Harry Potter. I understand Parcel Mouth, and Mrs’ Lifesaver is hissing at me, and nobody else around appears to notice. “myyyyyyy Caseeeeeeeeee betterrrrrrrrrrrr turnnnnnnnnnnn upppppppppppp” she Hisses “orrrrrrrrr youuuuuuuuuu areeeeeeeee goinggggggggg tooooooooo beeeeeeeeee in soooooooooooo muuuuuuuuuuuch trouuuuuuuuuble. “iF it helps, you can borrow my Trunks” says I.


That Cold Icy Stare, that I have come to Fear, tells me to shut up, nothing I say, or do at present will make up for this missing case. And nothing I have in my case will be any good, other than Mrs’ Lifesavers items she placed in it, prior to Flying.


And I hardly see the point in pointing out all this, along with reminding her about that thing that spreads your Toes is safe. LOL

All too soon we are pulling up alongside the Jetty, Distant Sweet Voices, Singing our welcome from an as yet, an unspied Location.

With a hint of Good things to come we are welcomed by some Resort Staff and escorted along the Sun Bleached Wooden Jetty towards Shore.

A Group of Staff at the end carry on Singing welcome, welcome, welcome too Komandoo. One of them banging a Drum in Time.

 I grip Mrs’ Lifesavers Sweaty Hand ,a rush of Emotions Flooding through me, and Squeeze it, getting in return a Crush back, then a Smile ( through experience I know this is a good sign )

As we get nearer to the Singing Group, and catch some of there Eyes, the Singing falters and the odd Giggle is mixed in, sending the Group slightly off Key.

At last, at long last, we are here. Cold Icy Flannels are handed out, and we wipe our Hot Sweaty Faces and fall into Wicker Chairs, where Coconut Water and Coconut Ice Cream is Handed amongst us.

The Coconut Water sends a surge of Freshness through our Bodies and feels as if an Air Conditioner has been deployed within us.

We hand over our Cards that we filled in earlier in Male, detailing our details, Passport Number, and how many times we have visited the Maldives/Komandoo previously.

For what seems Days, this is my First chance to relax, sitting down with a Cigarette in Hand, and Smoke the Blooming thing.

The Time we have been waiting for is now upon us, and we are to be directed to our Rooms.

Out from the Cool Shade of the Bar, and into the Blinding Hot Fiery Sun and White Scrunchy Sand we walk, the promise of the Water Villa we have chosen, pushing us on, keeping us going just a little bit more, Bodies almost the point of collapse.

The Spa, Dinning Area, Shops and Dive Base are all being pointed out by the Young Lady, who has been tasked to show us the way. Bugger them I think to myself, it is the Water Villa we want to see, let’s get on with it; let us at long last, see our base for the Next Week.

Dappled Sunlight blinds us at intervals, as it finds our Irises through pockets of Foliage, as we continue our walk, to what I hope is Nivana.

After Ten Minutes walk, we reach the Decking that takes us from Land and now over Water, the Decking gently curving Left and Right and finally we are Eagle Ray Five.

Pandora’s Box is about to be opened ( By this I mean that when we see it, and I know it is going to be good, all our Dreams, all our expectations, will be exceeded, and nothing will come close again )

One, Two, Three, Open BEAUTIFUL, STUNNING, Mrs’ Lifesaver has, at long last, forgotten about her case (Thank God) a Four Poster Bed greets us, surround Sound Flat Screen T.V, Mood Lighting, Air Con, Fan, Safe, Coffee Maker, enough Wardrobe space to take the Whole Islands Clothes and the Bathroom, WOW.

A His and Hers Basin set, Jacuzzi, walk in Shower, separate Loo, enough Mirrors to prove I cannot hide, no matter where I look, from my Reflection, proving the fact, a Diet would not go amiss and enough Lotions, Potions, Creams and Ointments to have your own Chemist. All in all, stunning.

But hang on Guys there is more; we are led to an outside Decking area that contains Table and Chairs, a large moveable Double Width Day Bed, a fixed Day Bed, and Steps leading down into the Water.

The whole Water Villa is built over Water, with easy access into the Sea, and tonight we shall sleep rocked in the Bosom of the Ocean.

Knock, Knock, “Hello, as you missed Lunch, we thought you may like this to keep you going until Dinner Time” says the Boy standing there “Thank you” says I, and take the Tray, for I think we shall be eating out on the Decking.

Outside under the Burning Hot Sun, we tuck into Tasty Sandwiches and Fruit, all Washed down with Cool Clear Icy Water.

I do not insult Mrs’ Lifesaver afterward by unpacking my Case, instead I just get out my Swimming Shorts from my Hand Luggage, and step my Finely Tuned Body into them. LOL.

And I am ready for this Years First dip into the Warm Indian Ocean? And down the Steps I go.

Already I can feel myself relaxing, as the Gentle Current helps me unwind, as I bob in the Warm Ocean. Crikey what was that?

As a loud Splash pulls me back to reality, I turn around as what appears to be Millions of Shards of Crystal veer towards me.

I stumble back in Shock, as behind them, Large Mirror Shards Fly into the Air. What’s happening? Help, I think to myself, and realise it is Small Fish being chased by yet even Bigger Fish. “It’s ok” I shout to Mrs’ Lifesaver, “I’m ok” trust her; she has not even noticed my Life might have been in Danger. Back up the Burning Hot Steps, and I slump down onto the Day Bed.

Mrs’ Lifesaver is now looking even more Sexier in a Pale Blue Bra and matching Thong, oh yes the Case how could I have forgotten ?(hee hee ) “ it’s ok for you, what about me ?” she says. “Don’t worry Love, we are here at last, let’s give it a couple of Hours, and I will chase it up” I reply.

Now I do not know about you Dear Reader, but the Hot Weather makes me feel Fruity, (and we are not talking Opal Fruits Here ) and Mrs’ Lifesaver dressed as she, is giving me ideas.

“Oh Mrs’ Lifesaver” I gently coo, “NO! YOU CAN GET THAT IDEA RIGHT OUT OF YOUR HEAD” and I am left wondering, how the Hell she can also read my mind before I engage Mouth.

On many occasions, my Wife similar to this time knows many things about what I am thinking, even before I think them. LOL

“But why“? I whinge (at this point I have decided to go for the pity angle)” because it is too Hot, I have not got my Case, and you have yours” she responds.

Erm how does that work then? I have my case and you don’t have yours! I think to myself, all the time wondering if I am brave enough to voice these thoughts aloud. But a squeaky “why”? Is all I can muster aloud J The bark back, is as expected, “when I have my Case, we shall see!!!

1730 Hrs’ I am changed (for I have my case) and we are heading along the Decking.

At the end we veer to the Right, which is the Sunrise side, and Step down onto the Soft Powdery Sand kicking off our Shoes’ in the process

A very slow waters edge stroll has us spotting Rays, Small Black Tipped Sharks, Cuttle Fish, and other Species, that inhabit the Lagoon.

On the way we spy Small Villas peeping out among the Foliage all looking very nice (Dolphin report later) and we stumble upon the Water Sports Centre. This is where you can hire Canoes, Windsurfers, and Small Boats. The First Two modes of Transport, just needing you to sign your Name in a Book, and take them free of charge, for as long as you like.

Behind this is the Dive Centre ( and this is the First Big up to Darren that I announce, One of the Diving Instructors who works there and a Brilliant Chap ) opposite this are Two Shops, One a Jewellery Shop, the other just a Shop that sells everything you may need for the Holiday all at a realistic Price.

The jewellery Shop has some nice items in it, and I knew when spotting it, nothing it contained no Shiny Gift would make up for the missing Case. So I made a note to NEVER remind Mrs’ Lifesaver the Island had a Jewellery Shop, again.

The other Shop carries Cameras, Cigarettes, Lighters, Toiletries, Lilos, Masks, Flippers, Books, Postcards, Chocolates, Ice Cream, Stamps just about anything you may have forgotten to bring with you.

Reception is all of Ten Seconds away from this, twenty if you take your Time, and here you can see what Trips are planned, Post you Cards and settle Bills or indeed find out any information you wish.

Entering we were greeted with the “Hello Mr and Mrs’ Lifesaver” which was surprising since we had not ever seen any of them before. (Maybe because I am covered in Tattoos or maybe one of the Staff Members on the Boat understood Parcel Mouth? Who knows) but they knew our Names which was a nice touch.

“Any Case here yet?” I ask, “no Sir, but we are expecting it very soon, in Fifteen Minutes about!!” “are you sure ?” a slight hint of panic in both her voice, and eyes Mrs’ Lifesaver asks “yes Madam” “Relax Love” I tell her “it will be ok“, “yes Madam it will be ok” the Staff chip in, “ it will be here very soon, go to the Bar for a Drink” so that’s what we did.

Another Twenty Second Stroll past the arrival Jetty, around a Small spit of Sand and we back where we were first welcomed by Komandoo’s Hospitality.

All Bar Staff are very attentive, and greet us as long lost Friends.

The choice of seating is various, different sized Wicker Chairs, Padded with Soft Cushions stretch out before us, with a choice of inside or outside areas we opt for the outside, and Two Bacardi and Cokes.

These are served up in Double quick Time, along with a Bowl of Warm Cashew Nuts (yum yum) Three Bacardi and Cokes later, the Case has been forgotten about, as we watch the slowly setting Sun, when I am brought back to reality with loud squeals filling my Ears and causing the Bar Staff to ask “is everything ok?” Mrs’ Lifesaver has spotted her Case being offloaded from a Boat. So much for being festooned in Pink Ribbon I think to myself so it will not get lost, as I Spy it fluttering and standing on the Jetty, but wisely I keep these thoughts to myself.

“What was that, a Bird?” asks Mrs’ Lifesaver, as a Bat swoops in then away before striking us, “erm no Love” I reply “it was a Bat” “A BAT?” “Do not worry it will not attack us, we are safe” says I “I know that” says Mr’s Lifesaver (and she does) as she continues to look around, and keep One Eye on the Case. LOL.

“Right back to the Villa eh Love” I say, as we hoist ourselves out of the comfy chairs. So off we trot, this time making our way around the Sunset side.

Past the Spa where wonderful Smells of Pine, Cinnamon, Vanilla, any many others I cannot determine waft out of, and around it, and where we plan to visit many Times.

Through the Restaurant with Waiters adding the finishing touches to tonight’s Dinner, Cutlery already winking in the candles being lit, and wine Glasses casting Long Strange Shapes on the wall. Dinning options include by the look of it, inside and out areas for eating in.

Out of the Restaurant and into the Sand Pathways, Gently lit by Red/Orange Lanterns, each like a Glowing Eye of a Hidden Beast crouched amongst the Bushes and Palms and we soon reach the Decking that takes us to our Room.

Two Dollars seems a Small Price to pay the Boy that has brought our Case in a Wheel Barrow from the other end of the Island, and as Mrs’ Lifesaver is Beaming from Ear to Ear, and the promise of making Love all Night long with my Wife is now within my reach, I slip Him Ten Big Ones. Rather what I intend for my Wife. LOL

Dinner Time due to Ramadan was at Eight P.M (but is normally 1930 Hrs’) OH and do not forget, Komandoo is One Hour ahead of Male Time, and we were running Late!

After unpacking, Showering and getting my long overdue just Rewards, it was Time to Shower again. “I told you we would be late” said Mrs ‘Lifesaver; as she decided too try on yet another outfit.

I patiently sat waiting, a thing that I have become good at when She is deciding what to wear.

Again I thought for the Hundredth Time, about telling Her to get a move on, but deep down I knew this would be futile, and only delay things further, as she would then tell me how important it was to look nice, and as a Man it was so easy for me to just put on a Tee Shirt and Trousers, and didn’t I want Her to look nice for me? And this Dress makes her look Fat, and this One will not match her Bag (Guys as you know, the list goes on, and on, and on, and on) so I sat patiently waiting for her to turn to me, and say “well come on then, I’m ready”

Now everybody, other than what you wear to Komandoo on your Feet, the only Shoes that you will need are Flip Flops, and bringing any others, truly will be a waste of Time. So do not bother, they will not be used!!

How the Hell that Lady wore High Heels to Dinner Her First Night is beyond me, you know who you were Madam.

A Small stroll of Ten Minutes Maximum, and we are back to the Restaurant. First time of entering you are greeted by a Young Lady, and directed to a Table. Please do not worry if She says’ here? And you do not like the Table, as just point out to her One you would prefer another and say no! To the One She suggested, and pick one out you fancy. She will not be offended.

It has been said before on TA, that if only this Young Lady would Smile, then her welcome would seem that more believable and welcoming, as when she does, the whole Room Lights up, and you feel really special.

Once at the Table, you are allocated a Waiter for your duration of your stay. He will fetch your Drinks, clear the Table between courses, and attend to every need that you may have. He is also your Waiter for all Meals every Day, and each and every one of them are true Stars.

Thank you Gentleman you are a credit to the Island.

When sat in comfy chairs, Napkins placed upon your Lap, Cold Towels are handed out. This was again, something that we came to look forward too at every Meal Time, although Mrs’ Lifesaver refused, unlike me, to smear every bit of naked Flesh visible to the Human Eye, with the Towel, Hot bits of Sweaty Body, or not.

Instead as only a true Lady can, daintily dapping her hands and arms all the time looking at me as if I were Mad, as I relished every Cold touch of the Icy Flannel against different parts of my Body.

Oh how I still long for those Towels, even now as I am sat back in the U.K, rain smearing the Windows and thoughts drifting back to Sunnier Climates. Where was I? Oh yes, at the Table.

Water Glasses are then filled and Topped up as required throughout the Meal, and orders taken for other Drinks, be that Wine, Beer, the choice is yours.

Having addressed this, you then go up to the selection of Bars each hosting Soup, Rolls, a selection of Salad Starters, Main courses, Desserts’ and the piece Da La Resistance is the Live Cooking Arena where Two of the loveliest Men cook up Three or Four Specials a Night in front of you.

A Big Shout out must go to these Guys’ because even though it may not be on display, or not to your Taste, these Guys’ will do everything in there Power to address your needs, and make sure you go away Happy.

So another BIG thank you, Guys’ we Love you.

Dinner is a relaxed affair, no need to Dress up and goes over the Top, and if I have told Mrs’ Lifesaver Once, I have told Her a Thousand Times, She looks Hot in anything.

We normally spent around One and a Half Hours over Dinner, (why hurry?) then we would Stroll into the Bar and sit outside listening to the Quiet Murmur of Voices, the Splat of each Wave as in rolled up onto the Beach, and the quiet Throaty Growl of the Odd Boat as it made its’ way through the Channels In the Distance.

Some People have said that the Seats were too hard and not Comfy, but all Seats when we were there, had lovely Deep Cushions which were very nice, so maybe this problem was addressed as they appeared New and got no complaints from us.

You have different sized Wicker Chairs, that will handle the Biggest of Bums, and also doted around, some Lovers Chairs made for Two, that have a fold over Hood ( very intimate eh Mrs’ Lifesaver ? )

We found that it suited us to Tip every Time we got a Drink, One Dollar here, Two Dollars there, as all Monies go into a Pot for sharing out amongst the Staff, and It was Sad to notice, many people did not bother Tipping or leaving One at the End of there stay. They just take for granted, a click of the Fingers or a Wave of an empty Glass, demands another Drink (sometimes I am ashamed to be British and embarrassed that my Fellow Brit acts this way!!) Come on Guys’ Tip, as you are waited on Hand and Foot, and a Few Dollars is hardly going to break the Bank is it? There are also those that we never heard say Thank you once and the Waiters who we got Friendly with said it was a Shame more British did not have better Manners.

Sometimes we had the Cocktails, other times Beer, but mostly it was Bacardi and Coke and again some reviews say the Local Spirits on AI are a bit rough, but we found them palatable and you do have the option of paying for Named Brands (I would not bother) and as an Evening wore on, they got better and better!

Around 2315 Hr’s we decided to head back as we were Worn out after all our Travelling and it was still warm, and we know what that does to me.

I awoke with a Jolt, not quite sure where I was and looked over at the Head of Mrs’ Lifesaver, peeping above the Sheets. For One Minute, I thought I were Dreaming, as looking at her it appeared She had Morphed into Medusa. The Dark Ringlets of her Hair, appearing as Snakes against the Pillow and I remembered then where we were.

Pulling back the Sheet I stepped onto the Floor and thought I would make Coffee for us. As I set off across the Room Mrs’ Lifesaver awoke, took one look at me, her Eyes’ lingering on my nether Regions and groaned “have you not had enough? What has gotten into you“?

Looking down, I could see why she might make this statement, but instead told her I was getting us some Coffee, to which she suggested maybe I should have a Cold Shower First and she would do the Coffee.

Whilst in the Shower above the Hiss of the Spray, I was suddenly aware of a deep throaty voice singing about Love and Affection, each note hitting the right Cord.


I stepped into the Room as Mrs’ Lifesaver looked up, various CD’s spread on the Bed and asked about her choice of Music she had put on. Yes you have guessed it, Barry White was in the CD player, and it was only Seven A.M.

.We took our Coffee outside, the Day already Hot, the Sun Shinning down from a Cloudless Sky, holding promise of good things ahead, and sat back watching the Fish Dart around at the Steps of our Water Bungalow and within the Lagoon. The perfect way to start a Morning, Coffee, Cigarette and great company.

All too soon the thought of Food was prompting Mrs’ Lifesaver to ask me “when are we going to Breakfast”. So I forced myself to rise out of the Chair deciding that I would have ample time to relax whilst we were here later on, and I best show willing, as Mrs’ Lifesaver would, as she had mentioned it now, not let up.

Do not let it be said us Men do not understand our Wife’s needs!!

Having gotten Dressed, we set out to make our way to Breakfast, and left the Room by the Front Door.

Already warm underfoot, the Decking gave off a smell of Wood preservatives, Salt and Sun Oil.

Bare foot it rubbed our Feet as we walked, the sensation similar I guess, to what is must be like walking on Sandpaper!

For the past Nine Months, our Feet had been wrapped in Boots and Socks so each released digit and sole was relishing the Sandpaper feel, as Feet were lifted up and down, up and down, the Decking vibrating gently as Weight was placed onto it.


This time it was Mrs’ Lifesaver who took my Hand in hers stopping me mid Stride to tell me She Loved me, and thanking me for bringing her to this Beautiful Place.

I am unsure if a Grain of Sand then blew into my Eyes but for a Second they felt Watery, so maybe it had ;-)


At this still early time, the Lagoon on the Sunset side was as flat as Glass, the only disturbance being an occasional Fin breaking the surface as Basking Sharks dug into the Sand for Crabs.

A resident Heron Screeched Loudly as we approached it along the Shoreline, making us both Jump. This ungainly Bird then Flapped its’ Wings’ each Wing sounding like Hands smacking Flesh, as it struggled along the Shore trying to gain elevation and defy Gravity, until finally it was aloft and soaring across the Lagoon, to then land upon the Breakwater Breaks further out to Sea.

We continued along the Shoreline, stopping at intervals to pick up and admire different types of Seashells, before dropping them back onto the Sand. All too soon we were at the Dinning area Once more, our Second Meal at Komandoo, about to commence.

Breakfast followed the same set of Rules I have previously mentioned regarding Dinning, with the same layout and different types of Food on display.

The Bars contained Yoghurts, Cereals, Full English, Continental, Juices, and Cakes.

The Live Cooking area would do you Eggs of any type, from Fried, Poached, Boiled, and Scrambled, Whisked or any other type that took your fancy, and also Waffles and Pancakes etc.

Anybody finding cause for complaint or saying that there is not any choice; Lord knows what is wrong with you! For all Food, at all Meal Times, is FANTASTIC.

Mrs’ Lifesaver and I normally took Breakfast outside on the Decking each Morning enjoying the Views of the undulating Ocean Waves, and the Myriad of Sea life, seen clearly through Crystal Clear Waters.

Having Finished Breakfast that we shared with Birds flitting from Table to Table on the Hunt for scraps, Mrs’ Lifesaver and I thought it now Time that we have a Nose around and check out the New Al La Carte Restaurant they had almost finished.

This New Dinning area is located just down from the main Dinning area, reached by the Second Pier.

Original plans were to have a Glass Floor in it, but cost, Time, and some other reasons decided that this would not be the case.

The Restaurant was almost complete when we left, and will now be open. It is very small and Cosy, Booking will be a must.

It has Air Con, and a Small outside Area, and I think if on A/I, one will get a deduction off your Bill!! A welcome addition to the Island, as costs’ rising for 2009, dictates that this Island now offers more than One Dinning experience.

With not much to see regarding the Restaurant, other than what I have already mentioned above, Mrs’ Lifesaver and I ambled back along the Sunset side, this Time taking a Stop at the Small Bar area Manned from around 1630 Hrs’ until 1900 Hrs.’

You can get Drinks, Dangle your Toes’ in the Warm Waters’, Kick back and watch the Sun Sets, as the Sun Sinks Slowly into the Ocean, giving a Fiery display that even Satan Himself would be proud of.

As some Water Villas face away from the setting Sun, this is maybe a good idea, and makes a change from the Bar, where it is a little bit more Formal, i.e. Tops required. It was quite well used, so maybe the Island has found a niche that was lacking.

Having now familiarized ourselves with the Sunset side we made our way back to the Decking having decided that a Snokel, Snooze and relax was in order before Lunch.

It was Time for me to encounter the First problem. How do you get along a 200 Yard Section of Burning Decking without wearing Shoes? As we stepped onto the Decking I felt as if my Feet had stepped into Hot, Crushed Glass and I leapt back onto the Sand Cursing Loudly.

Mrs’ Lifesaver appeared to be dancing a Dance that resembled a cross between Mr Bean, a Chimpanzee and the Can Can, before she too made it back onto the Sand. “Can you go and fetch my Shoes from the Room” She Sweetly asked. I looked at her as if she was Mad, and before I could reply, and as if already reading my thoughts, she said “no! I don’t mean you walk, you can Swim around, get yours, walk back with mine, and then we can go to the Room.

Now this took me a moment to work out what she was asking, as I needed to transgress within my Brain Cells, the around about way she was approaching our dilemma, which suddenly had become my problem.

A sudden thought struck me; the Shower Nozzles that I had spotted yesterday dotted every Fifty Yards or so, were now seemingly obvious. The solution to our problem so to speak.

If we dashed to the First One, Sprayed Water at our Feet, then dashed off to the Second, we could make it.

I informed her of my Plan, seeing doubt creep into her Face. “Billy” she said “who will Spray First”? “Why of course you my Love” said I with Fingers crossed, having no intention of allowing her that pleasure, and already thinking that when the Sprint started, to be the First one there.

All rules about a fair Race, already cast from my Mind, it was going to be each Man and Woman for themselves.

Ok then Mrs’ Lifesaver is you ready? One, Two, Three, GO, and off we Ran.


Those that were a Bay Watch Fan in the 80’s will remember that during the opening Credits, the Crew running along the Beach, did so in slow motion, seeming to linger Airborne with each Step they took. I was attempting the linger similar to this, whilst running in order my Feet stayed aloft as long as possible, and avoided contact with the Burning Deck.

For One moment, as Neck and Neck with Mrs’ Lifesaver I ran, I had doubts I would get to the Nozzle First, but get there I did, and grabbed it off its’ holder and squeezed.

Nothing, not a Bloody drop, as Hopping around Mrs’ Lifesaver deplored me to wet her Feet.


I debated about first pushing her off the Decking then jumping off myself into the Sea, a mad thought also rushed into my Head, about Slipping out Old Percy, and Spraying our Feet with my own Urine.

As if already sensing our only options left, Mrs’ Lifesaver took off for the Next Nozzle with me trailing behind.

The same thoughts I’m sure in her Head as they were in mine now, that Please God Let this one be working. Thank God it was.

Eventually after Dash, Spray, Dash, Spray, we got to the Front Door where Shade now cast its’ cooling Shadow outside our Door. “Have you got the Key then Billy”? “No! Have you not got it”? Said I, remembering just where I had left it before leaving for Breakfast.

The choices were now Run, Dash, Spray, Run, Dash, Spray back the way we came, and I thought that unfair on Mrs’ Lifesaver, to make her do that, or get down into the Water, Swim around, and see if I had left One of the back Doors open.

With few options open to me, and knowing Mrs’ Lifesaver would do neither, I ran to the Steps located luckily for me, very close by, and quite literally Hot Footed it down into the Sea.

Swimming under and around the Wood Stanchions I wondered what Beasts and Sea Life lived in such locations, and would anything grab me as I swam past it.

This pushed me on to a Speed that Mark Spitz would have been proud of, as thoughts entered my Head of a Giant Octopus lurking in the Shadows and already seeing it uncurl a Tentacle and grab me in my imagination, quickly I reached our Wooden Steps breathing hard without non of the enjoyment!


The Door was open, just as well really, for I knew that had it not been, it would of still been me that would have had to go to reception or find One of the Lads to let us in, and Mrs’ Lifesaver would I’m sure, of held me to sort of ransom thus ensuring that it was me who went off and got us out of this predicament and not her.

To be cont !!!


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1. Re: More of a Taster of things' to come Maldives part 4

brilliant lifesaver, just don't have us waiting so long next time. bev

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2. Re: More of a Taster of things' to come Maldives part 4


Brilliant! And it is only the morning of Day 2.

More ! More!


One small request. The next time you post, can you delete some of the previous posts? My index finger is getting RSI with all the scrolling!

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3. Re: More of a Taster of things' to come Maldives part 4

excellent, can't wait for the next installment


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4. Re: More of a Taster of things' to come Maldives part 4

Hi Lifesaver, Thank you that was brilliant although you sound strangely like Bear Grylls he likes to pee on everything!!! I've had a similar experience trying to get back to the room on Filitheyo, very amusing!!! xx

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5. Re: More of a Taster of things' to come Maldives part 4

That was absolutely fantastic - can't wait for the next installment.

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6. Re: More of a Taster of things' to come Maldives part 4

Thanks Lifesaver

It is sooo long since i have laughed out loud soo much that tears ran down my face!

Thanks much for all the cheer in such hard times!

Can't wait for your next instalment.


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7. Re: More of a Taster of things' to come Maldives part 4

Well if ever you get bored in your job I am sure you have an opening in writing. Never before have I been so eager to read the next part!You certainly have the nack. I want you to make it last till spring. Ha! Ha! What a way to pass the winter and how lovely for those heading to your island. (wish I was going there now) Hey just had a thought....Have the guys at Komandoo employed you?.....They should. Brilliant.

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8. Re: More of a Taster of things' to come Maldives part 4

hi lifesaver

briliant, you're a natural story teller can't wait for next installment. made me wish i was there

every time we go on holiday i ask the same of question of hubby 'why do we have to go to the airport early'

write again soon cheers

westiegirl 8

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9. Re: More of a Taster of things' to come Maldives part 4

Good Morning everyone

many thanks again for your kind comments.

Now i have been thinking, maybe as this epic is being so well read i should charge you all Money before i print out the next bit, what do you think ?

I could also then fund further Maldives Holidays and carry on my attempt at writing. LOL just a thought.

On a more serious note i have had E-Mails asking i print it all off as i add bits so sorry about the long scrolling Guys'

Things are looking good now and i have more to add over the next Day or so.

All your Comments have prompted me to look into trying to get this and other things to print. Any ideas on how i do this would please be greatly received.

Having nearly 20 Yrs' in the NHS A/E DEpt under my belt a bit in the Navy and also the Police i do have many Tales to tell in the same Formula that is proving such a hit. Thank you all and Happy Christmas everybody. ( thought i would be the First to get that in )

Best wishes as ever xxxxxxxxxx

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10. Re: More of a Taster of things' to come Maldives part 4

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