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death of a Japanese friend

Denver, Colorado...
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62 posts
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death of a Japanese friend

Perhaps this is not the proper forum for this query. Regardless, I need advise. One of my dear friends in Tokyo lost his father yesterday. We have visited his family in Tokyo on many occassions and have hosted him in the US as well. I have made enough faux pax in this friendship, usually of a comic nature. However, I would like to get this "right". Can someone please tell me what is appropriate in order to express my concern and love; comfort his family? Thank you!

Honolulu, Hawaii
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634 posts
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1. Re: death of a Japanese friend

Sorry to hear about it. you just send a letter or e-mail with your sincere condolence. It is enough. if you are in japan close to him, you can attend his funeral ceremony at house or temple with bringing some money. But if not, no need to do so much. Do not send new year card with words of 'Happy'. I have sent seasons cards in Christmas for friends who lost thier family as seasons greeting.

New York
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2. Re: death of a Japanese friend


Sorry to hear the sad news. When my relative’s/friend’s father passed away, I usually sent a special telegram called “choden/弔電” (costs about $20-$50) via KDDI and/or flowers (all white) to the funeral site. It is pretty common to do so in Japan or among Japanese people. However, as you live in the US and are not Japanese (I guess), sending a card with your condolence might be good enough.

If you are interested in sending a choden telegram, you may want to contact KDDI.

3. Re: death of a Japanese friend

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Removed on: 01 October 2009, 10:17