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Zest Air - the absolute worst airline in the history of man

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Zest Air - the absolute worst airline in the history of man

Zest Air has perfected the process of recruiting the most incredibly stupid staff who are unable to understand or convey the simplest of instructions or impart any knowledge of their airlines operational schedule. Whilst delays are inevitable with all airlines, Zest Air has devised a way to systemically ensure that their airline NEVER runs on schedule.

Given the deplorable on time performance record, ingeniously the management has implemented a policy of hiring the stupidest front line staff in the entire history of aviation. These bafoons are singularly the best way to mitigate against customer dissatisfaction. In the same way it is impossible to be upset with a mentally challenged person who knows not what they say or to have sharp words with a multiple amputee who clings to your ankle for attention thus tripping you over, it is difficult to be upset with a staff member who clearly knows more about neuclear fission process than they do their airlines operations.

The staff are selected to be able to recite "yes ma'am sir" to every single possible question including but not limited to "when is the plane leaving", "is there an actual plane in the air on the way to this airport which may through some massive cosmic coincidence collect passengers and depart for the destination on my boarding pass?", "what is your name?" Or "do you have any basic understanding of what an Airline is supposed to do?"

The glazed expressionless faces have been modeled on the freshly deceased and the only hint of color in the faces of the moronic individuals standing on the employee side of the counter, is just the glow of the vomit orange, ill fitting polo shirts worn by the clearly stunned humans who qualified for the job on the basis that they have a pulse.

If you have nothing better to do with your life than to wait at second rate airports with inferior amenities, be frustrated, speak to mindless, vacuous human life forms - then you will love traveling with Zest Air. For the rest of you - spend an extra few pesos on an airline which may in the event of a delay be able to communicate with you in some rudimentary form.

clare,ireland
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5,334 posts
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71. Re: Zest Air - the absolute worst airline in the history of man

hi home in manila -sent u pm.

Melbourne, Australia
Destination Expert
for Philippines, Kuala Lumpur
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22,929 posts
1,626 reviews
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72. Re: Zest Air - the absolute worst airline in the history of man

Haha PHoenix242 i thought you were serious at first.

And dont forget walk and swim unless you can walk on water ;)

Tommo

Negros Island...
Destination Expert
for Bacolod, Negros Island
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3,087 posts
114 reviews
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73. Re: Zest Air - the absolute worst airline in the history of man

Tommo,

...Had to read that twice! Haha.

philippines
Destination Expert
for Cebu City, Philippines, Cebu Island
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4,184 posts
561 reviews
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74. Re: Zest Air - the absolute worst airline in the history of man

it's too hot to walk. You would sweat like crazy. Don't forget to use deodorant with antiperspirant.

Denver, Colorado
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1,027 posts
71 reviews
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75. Re: Zest Air - the absolute worst airline in the history of man

It is a true story, down to every last detail, I was delayed 15 mins overall !

Melbourne, Australia
Destination Expert
for Philippines, Kuala Lumpur
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22,929 posts
1,626 reviews
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76. Re: Zest Air - the absolute worst airline in the history of man

PHoenix I agree. Totally unacceptable behavior.

Hope you were adequately compensated :-)

Tommo

Luzon, Philippines
Destination Expert
for Philippines, Bandar Seri Begawan
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17,001 posts
248 reviews
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77. Re: Zest Air - the absolute worst airline in the history of man

@ TJ: Zest Air is just being consistent with their lousy service, at least they are consistent with something.

Oslo, Norway
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15,330 posts
154 reviews
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78. Re: Zest Air - the absolute worst airline in the history of man

the title of this thread is wrong, as the worse airline in the world does not have passengers who survived the flight...

Vancouver, Canada
1 post
2 reviews
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79. Re: Zest Air - the absolute worst airline in the history of man

Cebu Pacific is worse then Zest. They wouldn't even answer my e-mails

Melbourne, Australia
Destination Expert
for Philippines, Kuala Lumpur
Level Contributor
22,929 posts
1,626 reviews
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80. Re: Zest Air - the absolute worst airline in the history of man

Did Zest answer your emails?