The flight out was okay. The stews said it was cold for Vegas and they were right. It was 60's and windy, but sunny. Got into the cab, told the driver Orleans, no tunnel. The fare was higher than I thought it should be, $18, I think.
Check in was a Breeze. Ha, Ha. Got to the room, 19th floor. It was big, but I would say, "well-used". In fact, it's actually too big. All that square footage is just empty space for the most part.
Dropped the bags and went straight to the casino. The Orleans has several bars and I went straight to the big one near the entrance and got a some designer draft that tasted like someone had wrung out UNLV's sweaty athletic gear into a glass. It was awful.
Believe this or not, there was an (alternative lifestyle) motorcycle club staying at Orleans the first two days I was there. Yeah, only in Vegas. It was odd to hear this guy wearing Harley leathers say, "Can I have one of those slushy, fruity things." I'm not kidding. There were probably a hundred or so of these gentle men around the hotel for the first two days.
The VP sucked up my first $40 and I was off and running on my biggest losing streak ever. I couldn't even get ahead, let alone win. I played nearly perfect strategy in every game I tried and still lost. Craps was especially abysmal.
I ate dinner at Prime Rib Loft and it was very good. No complaints at all.
Okay, that was Day 1. Everything else is a sort of jumble.
I went to the poker room the next morning and took one look around and said I am not playing here. It was all locals, most of whom look like they just got out of jail.
Now, I know some people had a Breeze watch going to find me at the pool. I'm sorry. It was just too cold and windy. Finally on Thursday I made it out there for an hour or so. In case you missed it, I was the guy who was the dead ringer for George Clooney.
Starting on Tuesday, the Hawaiians arrived. I now know where the people of Hawaii send their elderly. They send them all to the Orleans, hopefully to win enough to pay for their funerals. To my Hawaiian bruddas out there, is there a phrase for, "Old man who takes forever to make bets and set dice before throwing them about 8 feet in the air to land and one hop off the wall?"
I kept losing and losing. When I was done with that, I lost some more.
Both the cafe and Big Al's were good with large enough portions.
They pump an incredible stench into the place. Honestly, by the front entrance, it is nearly sickening.
I never waited more than 5 minutes for the shuttle.
There are 4 bars out on the main floor. They make a decent Bloody Mary.
And I kept losing.
Along the line, I went to Planet Ho to catch Peepshow. Funny, entertaining and you get to see Holly Madison naked. In fact, you get to see about 12 girls get naked. I am always amazed how the entertainers pull this off night after night and make it seem fresh to the audience each time. That is why they are professionals and make the big bucks.
I saw Vinnie Favorito. He was hilarious. As reported by one of our African-American posters, he found the black chick and got on her but good. She was married to a white guy and Vinnie was all "What do you do, high five all your buddies and say Yeah, I'm doing a black chick?" Only he didn't say "doing". He got on the Mexicans and Texans. He didn't get me. It got a little nasty when he had to put down a heckler right at the end.
I played some poker at MGM and some other table games. And lost.
On Tuesday, I met TA Royalty in WarmWinds. What an incredibly nice couple. We had a great hour or so of conversation. It was so easy, I felt like I always knew these people forever. The Cosmo is an incredible place, but a little too ritzy for me.
By Thursday, the losing finally got to me. I was so bent out of shape that I skipped Absinthe. I got so mad at the slow play of the ancients that around 8 I went to my room and stayed there.
Next up, Fremont St.