We noticed that you're using an unsupported browser. The TripAdvisor website may not display properly.We support the following browsers:
Windows: Internet Explorer, Mozilla Firefox, Google Chrome. Mac: Safari.

Somethings fishy ......

Brooklyn, NY
Level Contributor
5,792 posts
1 review
Save Topic
Somethings fishy ......

..... at Le Bernardin.

http://www.le-bernardin.com/

Okay ..... so I’ve read a lot of good stuff about this place and I’ve seen the owner/chef Eric Rippert on TV shows like’ Top Chef’, so on Friday afternoon me and my wife thought we’d give it a try. Eric Rippert is French ..... and like most French ..... they’re mostly a bunch of ‘fancy pants’. So without much reservation ..... I made a reservation (ya’ like that play on words). I thought this place was popular and it might be hard to get a table but I called on Wednesday and got a lunch date for Friday. “Table for two? Oui. No problem Mr. Lotuspath”. They mentioned ‘jackets required’ so I got out my Banana Republic summer plaid jacket. It’s a tad bit loud and says; “Sure I have a jacket on ..... and ..... hey can I interest you in a used Chevy Impala? It’s only got 20,000 miles on it.”

…typepad.com/.a/6a00e553b86c148834010534a4c5…

We arrived a tad early and the ‘maitre de’ smiled and said; “I will see if we can seat you early” (but with a creepy German accent). I looked out across the dining room and a good quarter of the tables were empty. “Yah ..... ah ..... well see what you can do.” We were seated at a table for four. At the next table from us was ‘Anoop’ one of the contestants from last season of ‘American Idol’ and it also looked like Bill Maher was at another table with two women.

Okay so I have to confess that I never feel more like the ‘fireman from Brooklyn’s kid’ than when I’m dining at an expensive fancy pants restaurant. When the waitress opened my napkin and went to place it on my lap I lurched back and exclaimed; “Please not in front of my wife!” ..... and then discretely slipped her my business card ..... “Call me!” ...... ** wink wink **.

cache2.asset-cache.net/xc/200458751-001.jpg…

We both looked at the menu. Now in an American restaurant they use French words for dishes as a excuse to over charge customers ..... so I was surprised that in this French restaurant they used only English and not a single French word. Well, they did use the word “parsnip” (as in) the “celery and parsnip custard” that came with my wife’s order. I had to explain to my wife that “parsnip” is actually the French word for “fancy pants”. I had reached out to one of the great NYC Destination Experts for menu advice ..... and went with Crans advice and ordered the fish. So we ordered ..... charred octopus and Fluke sashimi appertizers ..... then black sea bass and cod for entrees. I must say that it was all very delicious and there was a party going on in my mouth. However, I also noticed over the years that there’s a distinct inverse correlation between the size of the serving plate and the amount of food actually on the plate. The plates at Le Bernardin are ..... huge! And where is the tartar sauce?

It’s also intimidating when the waitress needs to explain ‘how to eat the food’ to you and your order comes with instructions from the chef. “First you should dip your cod in the octopus ink sauce and then into the urchin foam” ..... “Oh so that’s how I do that. ”..... Yikes!!! While watching the wine stewart work the room, I noticed the silver cup hanging from her neck so I asked the waitress what’s that cup for and was told “To spit out wine”. Now I wasn’t planning on having wine ..... but that changes everything. I’ve never spit wine out in a fancy pants French restaurant before and here was my chance.

Finally, the day of reckoning came ..... “Le bill”. Fixed price lunch $68 dollars a person ..... the bill came to $1780 dollars ..... whoops ...... make that $178 dollars. With tip that’s’ like $212 dollars. Or let me put that another way ..... that’s like equivalent to 50 McDonald’s Fillet-O-Fish sandwiches ..... or 40 bags of “Gorton’s Fish Sticks”

www.utxmart.com/images/gortonfishsticks.jpg

I started sweating a bit. “Don’t you know there’s a recession going around?” ..... ah ..... (arms flailing and giving Heimlich sign) ..... “I think I’m choking on a fish bone” ..... ah ..... “Got to use the bathroom I think I got food poisoning”. But just my luck, no windows in the bathroom to make my escape. I was forced to pay ‘le piper’.

Okay ..... so you win this round Mr. Eric Rippert ..... but I’ll be back ..... mark my words ..... oh I’ll be back Mr. Fancy Pants!

Mentioned in this post
Le Bernardin
Le Bernardin
2,998 Reviews
New York City, NY
Brooklyn
Brooklyn
New York
Likely To Sell Out
Viator VIP: EmptyMet Tour at The...
147 Reviews
from US$175.00*
Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island...
1,168 Reviews
from US$57.00*
New York in One Day Guided...
1,053 Reviews
from US$83.99*
NYC Empire State Observatory...
2,417 Reviews
from US$37.00*
New York City, New...
Level Contributor
11,512 posts
110 reviews
Save Reply
1. Re: Somethings fishy ......

Can I sign up to a RSS feed for restaurant reviews from Lotuspath Inc? Please?

Brooklyn, NY
Level Contributor
7,999 posts
18 reviews
Save Reply
2. Re: Somethings fishy ......

Monseur, did you save a doggie bag for me?

Ottawa, Canada
Level Contributor
301 posts
31 reviews
Save Reply
3. Re: Somethings fishy ......

Wow. Looks like I picked the perfect day to take a break from work and sneak a peek at what's happening on the NYC travel forum.

Great review. I haven’t laughed so hard since ….. well since the last time I read a post by Lotuspath.

And yes, please sign me up for a RSS feed for restaurant reviews from Lotuspath Inc.!

Meanwhile, I hope TravelingGuy catches this review as I believe he is a big fan of Le Bernardin.

Mentioned in this post
Le Bernardin
Le Bernardin
2,998 Reviews
New York City, NY
New York City, New...
Level Contributor
16,413 posts
13 reviews
Save Reply
4. Re: Somethings fishy ......

We were wondering how this turned out. Glad you decided to go with the fish ;)

At Gramercy Tavern in February we saw that they have a discreet little 'spitting table' that the servers use to spew the wine. Sure beats having to carry around a cup of your own saliva all day.

Mentioned in this post
Gramercy Tavern
Gramercy Tavern
3,317 Reviews
New York City, NY
Brooklyn, NY
Level Contributor
5,792 posts
1 review
Save Reply
5. Re: Somethings fishy ......

Thanks Kate ..... and there was barely enough food for us Mel (so no doggie bag) ..... and I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that TravelingGuy never sees this review Johannes.

But Crans ..... a "spitting table" at Gramercy Tavern ..... hmmmm ...... now I'm intrigued and will definitely need to investigate. I've been eating at McDonald's for years and never once seen a "spitting table" ..... so with good stuff like that at these haute cuisine joints ..... maybe I might just have to become a foodie after all.

Mentioned in this post
Gramercy Tavern
Gramercy Tavern
3,317 Reviews
New York City, NY
McDonald's
McDonald's
814 Reviews
New York City, NY
Texas
Level Contributor
6,417 posts
195 reviews
Save Reply
6. Re: Somethings fishy ......

Thanks for the laugh Lotus. I can always count on you to brighten my day! I'm sure Le Bernardin will never be the same!

I have to ask.... did you enjoy your meal and do you think you got your monies worth??? Would you go back???

Mentioned in this post
Le Bernardin
Le Bernardin
2,998 Reviews
New York City, NY
Queens, New York
Level Contributor
25,046 posts
12 reviews
Save Reply
7. Re: Somethings fishy ......

Octupus in BEFORE urchin foam?!?!?!?? <sniff> I thought Rippert was a traditionalist.

Brooklyn, NY
Level Contributor
5,792 posts
1 review
Save Reply
8. Re: Somethings fishy ......

*** I have to ask .... did you enjoy your meal and do you think you got your monies worth??? Would you go back??? ***

Well that's hard to say. Yes this was the best seafood meal I think I've ever had. My wife had a fluke sashimi and it was so fresh you hardly knew you were eating fish. Great. Her main course was a black bass ...... the celery infused sauce gave it a kind of sublime earthy taste. My cod fish had a very delicate crust and was surprisingly lightly cooked inside. Simply perfect. The charred octopus was also very tender with a interesting sauce. It was probably the best octopus I ever had. But worth the price??? Well ..... I certainly think so. It was a very special occasion for my wife and it's always worth every penny just to see her smile. I love to make her feel special. So mission accomplished.

Sterling, VA
Destination Expert
for Washington DC
Level Contributor
12,162 posts
141 reviews
Save Reply
9. Re: Somethings fishy ......

LP---I really enjoyed your review---especially the way you injected some humor into it! Thanks for the link to Le Bernadin's website---and thanks for sharing!

Texas
Level Contributor
6,417 posts
195 reviews
Save Reply
10. Re: Somethings fishy ......

<<But worth the price??? Well ..... I certainly think so. It was a very special occasion for my wife and it's always worth every penny just to see her smile. I love to make her feel special. So mission accomplished.>>

Awww... Lotus that is sooooo sweet!! You're not only funny you are a romantic too!!! I'm lovin' it!