We arrived on Friday 7th June 2013. 2 adults & 2 kids for a 2 night stay. Exterior is very pleasant which makes the rest all the more disappointing. Front door locked - so access is via a side door and through the kitchen. A woman finally responded to our ringing the bell, she was accompanied by three barking dogs, one of whom humped my leg every time we stopped moving - sadly that was as welcoming as it got.
We were led up a flight of stairs, the landlady, our party of 4, the three barking dogs, and a cat which proceeded to park itself on the bed in the children's room - I pointed out that one of the kids was in fact allergic to cats, and reluctantly it was removed.
Once the landlady had departed we took stock of our surroundings. Rooms were small, there was a large coffee-stain (I hope) and the mains plug was hanging off the wall. Unlike the girls room, we had a wardrobe - they had 2 hooks on the door, the bottom drawer of the wardrobe was crammed with old hangers, glasses and THREE hairdryers. The newspaper lining the drawer was dated 1961. Every available space in the rooms was occupied by dust-encrusted ornaments. This theme continued into the poorly equipped bathroom which was how our rooms inter connected. Towels were threadbare, bath tiles cracked and filthy, and there was a container of washing up liquid and a filthy washing up sponge...I realised this was for cleaning our own cups.
Next to the coffee-based wall stain, there was a tray with a dirty kettle, 2 ancient cups, a jar of powdered milk which smelled bad, and a jar of coffee, the bottom 2 inches of which were fused to the inside of the jar. When I turned it over to see if it shook free, I was amazed to see a Best before date of 2010. The jar in the kids' room was better - but still over 9 months out of date.
The rest of the house is no better - a large communal bathroom with hundreds of ornaments, cracked tiles, poor water flow. A "communal" lounge inhabited by the man of the house watching TV and the three dogs which made it very unwelcoming.
We went out to dinner to escape and enjoyed a very nice meal at the Red Lion in the village of Wingham ...they have rooms available there. When we got back we went to bed - well, with no welcoming lounge, no TV in the rooms etc we didn't have much option. Our bed seemed to have a slope which meant that getting comfortable was difficult. Let me re-phrase that. It was impossible. The mattress was poor, springs poked into various parts of one's anatomy and I shudder to think how old the pillows were.
Unsurprisingly, we woke early. When we got downstairs it was time for their much mentioned "English breakfast with homemade bread and jams served in farmhouse kitchen"
There was no fruit juice of any description - the kids were offered and accepted "hot chocolate" This arrived in a jug from the microwave. Our tea was the most anaemic thing I have ever seen, and as for "homemade bread" - unless this farm produces bread for the Tesco / lidl own label range, this claim is a downright lie. The "Toast" that was delivered to the table was barely any different from bread straight out of a packet. As each "delight" arrived, they were accompanied by dogs under and around the table, watched over by a cat sitting on the work surface.
The final insult was yet to come...."English Breakfast" - If these words on their website are to have any semblance of accuracy, they need to be followed by more words, perhaps "Tenko Style" or prefaced by "appallingly bad".
One slimy slice of bacon. One egg - all yolks were burst - the landlady laughed that they always break when she cooks them. One defrosted and reheated sausage (I watched it being done) and beans from Lidl ....the tin was still visible on the counter. Why the dogs were milling around bagging for our food is still a mystery to me, perhaps they were suicidal.
We packed up and left. My wife dealt with the landlady as she knew I would've caused a major scene and she didn't want to upset things on what was meant to be a birthday trip for our daughter. I will be writing to the people at this establishment as I believe we deserve a refund for what was genuinely one of the most unpleasant nights I have spent in a very long time.
In case anyone thinks I am exaggerating, photos of most of what I describe are included. This really is a place to be avoided, and I am amazed that whoever looks after health and hygiene for this establishment hasn't done something to fix the appalling lack of basic hygiene.
The Canterbury region is well worth a visit - but do not include Crockshard Farm in your itinerary. Similar complaints seem to date back a few years, so it is obvious that these people have no intention of doing anything to fix the multiple and glaring wrongs.
- Also Known As:
- Crockshard Farmhouse Guesthouse Wingham, Kent