Stars give off light that travels over millions of miles and still reaches our eyes. So intensely powerful and bright that their distance traveled is best measured in years rather than distance.
I didn't expect that two and a half stars would not register a SINGLE BRIGHT SPOT.
Our visit to the Junkanoo "Beach Resort" was probably one of the worst hotel experiences of my life. Whether it be the disheveled shanty of a building that the hotel was located in, the laughable state of the rooms, or the completely ambivalent staff, this hotel would have to pay me top dollar to spend another night here. I will recant my experience.
We arrived at the Junkanoo around 9:30pm, after a surprising $30 airport cab fare. We were leaving the next morning at 6:00am, so we just needed a place to crash for the night. The cabbie let us off in a back alley that reminded me of a Rio de Janeiro favela. We stepped into the lobby and knew that this $140/night hotel was not what we had hoped for. The place smelled, was damp, and the front desk staff was less than happy to see us. We checked in and were handed a key for a room on the 5th floor.
We hopped into the elevator in the lobby and it lurched upwards and sounded like it hadn't been serviced since the dawn of time. We left the elevator and proceeded to our room which had an outside entrance on a balcony. A few scantily clad individuals were out having a smoke a few doors down. We hustled inside the room and noticed a few pieces of something on the bed. My girlfriend lead the way, and remarked that the bed "looked wet." At the same moment, her shoe sunk into the tile. Yep, the floor was flooded. The roof had fallen in, and the bed was soaking wet. "Hell no," I said, and we went back downstairs to change rooms.
The desk staff didn't seem surprised or care that our room's ceiling was leaking water and falling. They almost seemed disappointed that we had returned. I wondered how many times they had tried to pawn off that room that night. They set us up with a key to room 101. "Wow, this should be close," I thought. Indeed it was. RIGHT OFF OF THE LOBBY. We yanked the door open which had been painted shut. Dragged our luggage in, and turned on the light. It appeared to be a more luxurious room than the one we were just in, but in reality, it was more like a converted maintenance room.
The shower looked like a plastic bin that you'd find in the back of a 1950s motor home. There was rust all around the bathroom. The room seemed clean, but small ants covered the floor. The window opened up to the main walkway into the hotel. The phone didn't work, so I phoned Dominoes from the front desk. We weren't about to leave our stuff unattended with sirens wailing down the street every 15 minutes. Upon arrival, the delivery man didn't have far to walk to knock on the door - "the front desk tried to call you, but you didn't answer."
"I know, and they know that my phone doesn't work."
We stripped the bed of the comforter not knowing when the last time it was attended to. Slept with one scratchy sheet for our brief 6 hour rest before our next flight. Sirens and traffic horns serenaded us to sleep. Our blissful rest was only interrupted every 30 minutes by screaming people in the lobby who apparently had just left the pool (this was after 11PM). We got out of there early in the morning. We felt bad for anyone who had to stay there any longer.
-This is NOT a RESORT. It is a DUMP. Do NOT stay here unless you have to stay here briefly.
-DO NOT believe the pictures. I don't know who took those, when they took them, or what other hotel they bought them from, but those are NOT the inside of Junkanoo!
-Please don't swim in the pool. Just don't.
-If you have ear plugs, nose plugs, and a blindfold, you may want to bring them
-If you have a HAZMAT suit, you will need it.
Please don't ruin your trip by staying in this dump of a hotel. If this is the only way you can afford Nassau, go somewhere else. If this is just a layover stop, prepare for the worst. This hotel is disgusting, makes no effort to be presentable, and preys on tourists in a pinch.
Please, if you value your health, your possessions, and your peace of mind do NOT stay at the Junkanoo "Beach Resort."
- Also Known As:
- Quality Inn Junkanoo Beach Hotel Nassau
- Quality Inn Nassau
- Nassau Quality Inn
- Junkanoo Beach Resort Bahamas/Nassau