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“Faulty Dog Poo Dust Towers”
Review of Porth Lodge Hotel

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Porth Lodge Hotel
Ranked #28 of 38 Hotels in Newquay
2 reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 2 helpful votes
“Faulty Dog Poo Dust Towers”
Reviewed 4 August 2013 via mobile

Well....

Good location, staff were relatively pleasant, especially the two young lads who were very helpful and prompt with trying to rectify our problems. The lady who served us breakfast was also very friendly and attentive.

Upon arrival, one of the rooms smelt of pork scratchings, the other room was so thick with dust Indiana Jones would have had a task navigating around the very small rooms. The rooms were single rooms with a double bed shoe horned in, which made opening the door and walking into the room a challenge of Crystal Maze proportions. After spending less than 10 minutes in one of the rooms 2 of our party of 4 had trouble breathing in their room due to the level of dust bringing on the need to use an inhaler.

When reporting this to the reception a gentlemen who was presumably the owner responded with this question;

"What do you me to do? Clean it? Wipe the surfaces?! Hoover?!"

That would have been a start at least, we felt like we'd just asked for a pot of gold and a Burmese Tiger! To be fair, 'Hetti' was whipped into action within 10 minutes and two young lads cleaned the room to acceptable standard.

Meanwhile in the other room, the panoramic vista was being admired. Wild animals to our right, sea views to our left....wait no! An overgrown back garden littered with used margarine tubs, kegs, a washing line and a grass area peppered in dog poo. The wild animals turned out to be 2 dogs, the owners of the poo (hopefully?) who took an instant like to each other, taking it in turns to ride each other around the garden in a pooch porn extravaganza!

The walls were so thin we spent the first night listening to farting, burping and what sounded like someone getting instant message alerts all night! (Yes, that thin!!).

We spent all of our time out of the 'hotel' and looked for alternative accommodation but due to peak season there was nothing locally in Newquay available.

After a poor nights sleep on the shortest double bed I've ever experienced, we oddly looked forward to breakfast. The breakfast was table service which was great, unfortunately the food left a lot to be desired. Instant heart attack fried bread, with oily sausage. The scrambled egg had been nuked in the microwave beyond all recognition and had the texture of play-dough.

Other than that and the hair in the shower (not ours) and the daddy long legs who had died some time ago being missed by the Hoover on the main landing, it was lovely!

On the plus side the complimentary bowling after the sumptuous breakfast was fun.

With a bit of TLC and refresh this place would be lovely. As it stands we couldn't possibly recommend, unless it was a final, final, final resort.

Just out of interest, does the lovely lady who cleans switch on 'Hetti' at the wall and is the 'Hetti's bag the original?

  • Stayed August 2013
    • Value
    • Location
    • Rooms
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
2 Thank Adbenclalireolly
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
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130 reviews from our community

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Rating summary
  • Location
  • Sleep Quality
  • Rooms
  • Service
  • Value
  • Cleanliness
Traveller tips help you choose the right room.   Room tips (17)
Date | Rating
  • English first
  • German first
  • Polish first
  • Any
English first
Coventry, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
31 reviews
15 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 24 helpful votes
Reviewed 30 July 2013

We saw a little sign on the edge of porth beach 'Ten pin bowling' and Food, 300 yds up the hill.
We booked in for bowling and turned up and ordered drinks and took them through to the bowling alley, after 1 game we played pool and waited for our food to arrive which didn't take too long.
The price of the food was £2-£3 less per meal than the mermaid which is the on pub on porth beach and was better.

It was a shame the pub/hotel wasn't busier as it had a lot to offer families - Bowling was about £5 per game, Pool was 50p (2 tables) as was table soccer. There were a few tables at the front of the hotel/pub too.

It's definitely worth the walk up hill from the beach (porth bean road).

  • Stayed July 2013, travelled with family
    • Value
    • Location
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
1 Thank Jackal73
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
West Midlands
Level Contributor
26 reviews
14 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 21 helpful votes
Reviewed 19 July 2013

Friendly hotel, bit tired in places, light bulbs gone in bathroom, carpets badly fitted, hot water a bit random. Bit disappointing that they seemed to close the bowling alley/pool tables by 10pm some nights though, great original Wurlitzer in lounge bar though, lots of old records to pick.

Budget cooked breakfast, no menu to view but staff happy to give you the choices each morning, chef seems to like burning the sausages and serving either hard boiled or raw poached eggs each day.

Hotel situated on quite a steep hill so not ideal for anybody with any walking issues, also quite a few stairs in hotel to rooms so again no suited for anybody with disability issues.

Overall not a bad stay but think the hotel would benefit from some investment. Room we stopped in was very spacious (we had a family room) and the beds were lovely and comfortable.

  • Stayed July 2013, travelled with friends
    • Value
    • Location
    • Sleep Quality
    • Rooms
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
2 Thank Gooba
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Hertford, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
372 reviews
92 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 158 helpful votes
Reviewed 18 July 2013

We had passed this over the years many times from the cottage we usually hire on Porth Beach. Finally going in for a meal and some bowling, we were delighted to find an old fashioned pub with friendly, efficient service. Your first thoughts are that it needs a good refurb, but after we had enjoyed ourselves (twice during our stay), we felt that it was charming as it was.
Enjoyable, reasonably priced food with a good game of ten pins or snooker that all the family could take part in. Plus a good ale that my husband could sample (can't remember the name of it).

  • Stayed October 2012, travelled with family
    • Value
    • Location
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
Thank SueWithaView
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Hong Kong
Level Contributor
67 reviews
20 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 76 helpful votes
Reviewed 15 July 2013 via mobile

To start with I would say - that's what I imagined Cornwall to be. A small -typical for the area - storehouse. Low ceilings(careful when u walk around) - a pub with a good choice of beer and decent food. Exceptional friendly service. Lovely!

  • Stayed July 2013
    • Value
    • Location
    • Rooms
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
Thank MarqueeHK
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Berkshire UK
Level Contributor
21 reviews
3 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 16 helpful votes
Reviewed 2 July 2013

We went for the bowling and meal deal with our two children aged 5 and 7. We had a great time and felt that it was great value for money. The children loved the bowling. We chose the Sunday roast as part of the deal and the children had cheeseburger/hamburger and chips. Food portions were generous. The roast dinners were lovely with a wide selection of vegetables. Dessert was also very nice. Service was very good and we found the staff to be warm, friendly and helpful. The children enjoyed it all so much that we plan to visit for a second time before the end of our holiday. Highly recommend a visit if you are in the area.

  • Stayed June 2013, travelled with family
    • Value
    • Location
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
Thank AnnabelBerkshireUK
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
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Additional Information about Porth Lodge Hotel

Property: Porth Lodge Hotel
Address: Porth Lodge Porth Bean Road, Newquay TR7 3LT, England
Region: United Kingdom > England > Cornwall > Newquay
Amenities:
Bar / Lounge Free High Speed Internet ( WiFi ) Free Parking Restaurant
Hotel Style:
Ranked #28 of 38 Hotels in Newquay
Price Range (Based on Average Rates): £
Hotel Class:3 star — Porth Lodge Hotel 3*
Number of rooms: 16
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Also Known As:
Porth Lodge Hotel Newquay, Cornwall

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