...so said my dinner companion when I suggested he try another bite of the 'squid stuffed with chorizo'. Visualise two condom balloons stuffed with a pale orange toothpaste like substance sitting in a little pool of bright orange oil and an artfully smeared dollop of bright green goo. One bite and the awful taste lingered in my mouth, throughout the 3 and 1/2 hour long production do King Lear and the hour long drive home.
We arrived at the restaurant and the experience started well with an offer of tap water. I think that's the most positive thing I can say about the place. As we were shown to a small table hidden behind a pillar, I noticed that most of the tables around us had pieces of card or napkins shoved underneath table legs to keep them fro wobbling. Not a great sign in a restaurant which was happy to charge a small ransom for 3 deep fried prawns.
The food was bland overall, including the ox cheeks (think bad school dinner). Portions were small - the £12 meat platter had two pieces of bread and a small amount of meat more but the pickled onion tasted good. Courgettes were greasy, steak tartare was overly sweet (and yet bland). Other than the horrible squid, presentation was ok.
Service was slow. Yes, the restaurant got busy but it is in a theatre venue so staff should expect this. They excelled at avoiding eye contact and we waited for ages to have the table cleared and to order coffees. These arrived after another 25 minute wait and when I finally had the privilege of paying the £80 bill including the 12.5% discretionary service charge, I was annoyed. The girl asked us how our meal was as she was tearing off my copy of the receipt. My response of 'not very good' was met with a shrug.
Avoid this place. Much more choice around the corner and you are more likely to keep eyes safe from pins.
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