I stumbled across The Bull after getting lost returning from a meeting in Felpersham. It's very much a locals pub and I got strange looks when I walked in. It took ages to get served as the landlord and landlady were too busy gazing longingly into each others' eyes and whispering about purple dresses and giggling.
Eventually an expensively dressed lady perched at the bar (who acted like she owned the place) took pity on me and said:
"Just help yourself Darling. I would. And get me a large gin while you're at it."
So I poured myself a pint of Shires and a triple G & T for Lillian (I think her name was) and left some cash on the bar. She then started telling me some complicated story about credit cards in Russia, so I made my excuses and moved away.
I then bumped into a well dressed gent wearing a bow tie, who asked me if I was "a student of the classics". Before I could answer, he launched into a story about Publius Cornelius Tacitus and Pliny the Elder.
After 10 minutes of Roman history I was ready for another pint of Shires so made my excuses. This time a perky Welshman served me and a young farmer at the bar.
"How much do you know about ready meals?" the farmer asked me, introducing himself as Tom.
"I've already eaten," I explained. However he then launched into lists of recipes, delivery details and shrink wrap techniques, before taking out spread sheets and business plans.
Seeking light relief, I moved into the corner and fell into conversation with an elderly man troubled by a bad cough and his son (Joe and Eddie I think). Somehow the conversation turned to gardening and -- after I had bought them each a pint of Shires-- they said they could offer me a good deal on garden ornaments.
"And we might even throw in a pint of homemade cider if you're paying the right price," said the elderly Joe before his hacking cough returned.
So the evening wasn't entirely wasted. With hindsight, I do wonder if I was wise to pay up front for the garden ornaments, but I am sure Eddie will call soon to arrange delivery. Mind you, it was a week ago and they said they would deliver within two days.
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