Well, being a person who has a slight fear of the unmoving statues we call waxworks, I was unsurprised to find, that once again my fear was there, but not as much as I had anticipated. I first heard about this nugget when holidaying there in Dublin with family. We went into the tourism shop and found the leaflet with less then hopeful pictures including Gollum who looked constipated and a meh looking Jack Nicholson Joker, needless to say I can give credit for them not airbrushing the statues. It was just me and my mum at the time and though not enthusiasts for the likes of madame tussads we had a laugh over the photos thinking that maybe they were just the worst statues the company had picked, but oh how wrong I was...
We went over to the wax work museum in anticipation and ready with our cameras we thought we were prepared to enter through. We got to the front desk as a polite looking lady told us the prices for one adult and teenager, which were €11 and €9. I thought, 'hey, it's cheaper then London' as my parent handed over the money and got given a map about how to do the route. This involved going through authors corner then underground to the time vaults and horror and making our way past fantasy, kids and science before going to the top floor where sports stars and comedians were until heading down to the finale. An easy route yes but but guys... You gotta add quotations around that word... Please. Or look up the word in the dictionary.
So we headed to the authors corner where it turns out... The models looked good, a couple had defined features on and I thought hey, this ain't so bad, before my fear kicked in and refusing to go 5 feet close to anyone. There's a button you can press which tells of some of the authors backgrounds, including James Joyce (appropriate considering it was blooms day) after getting used to them we then went down to the time vaults which had a lot of important figures including queen Elizabeth and other rulers as well as facts about the potato famine, independence war and Irish mythology.... Here is when things go down hill my comrades, for the mythology had a giant wolf (story gone of the top of my head) slayed by a little boy, the wolf had a lot of dust and was looking more sorry for itself then anything else and the boys face was, well a little more then just a happy about it. We exited the time vaults and went into horror.
I see they played it safe and went with the classic monsters such as Dracula, the Wolf man and even a moving Frankenstein's monster. Good for you guys! We heard what reminded me of the Hammer Dracula talk about himself and even had a picture taken with Freddy Krueger including splintering plastic which could cut with just one touch and a hole to put your head through which was just too high (but being 5'5. Can't fault that!) we then went into another room dedicated to the silence of the lambs with a loudly vibrating Hannibal lector and swinging chair Buffalo Bill, complete with a spoiler alert card to read about him, I've wanted to see the film for a whole and feeling a little peeved of with this I decided what any rational person would do... Spend out €2 euros and electrocute someone! That's right for €2 euros you can electrocute a poorly stuffed man who as the ability to make the same 3 second scream over and over and over and over again... YAY! But apparently since I must've been the first person to do this, the guy wouldn't stop. It was like Law Abiding citizen (mild spoiler) when the guy being executed through the lethal injection couldn't die because he had mixed poisons which caused him to suffer.... It was like that; but with a chair.
Moving on, we went up the stairs to the realms of 'fantasy land' complete with props borrowed from a primary school production such as a paper mashed beanstalk, big mouthed giant and a pedophilloic looking elf. Later on, as my parent went to take a look elsewhere I decided to go through the '''''FANTASY WALK'''''' it was a little corridor which said please don't enter if you're and adult with a young child and please don't enter if you're a young child without an adult so being neither I strolled downwards and found out you had to crawl through a dried milk smelling tunnel just to see anything, errrrrrrrggggg, blocked of an entire section just be because they want to invent their own little total wipeout area, no thanks!
So we went into the children's section where I knew spongebob would be, I used to love spongebob and was hoping to see him and his friends but no you couldn't even do that right! His proportions were right but it looked more like a trash an at an amusement park with his dead like eyes just staring into space his mouth open in a cannabilistic way looking at the Simpsons opposite, deciding who would be the first to be absorbed by his mighty sponge powers. There was a Frankenstein monster AGAIN where if you pressed his buttons he would move in an awkward way grunting, yet another realistic representation, well done staff, well done. There's was a Santa sleeping at the back of the room and an animation about some large scale attack going on, it looked... Pretty....
But onwards! We went to the science area, I was a little excited for this I mean their interpretation of famous scientists such as Sir Isaac Newton and Stephen Hawking, now this will be fascinating. However once I arrived there it was educational but one thing was missing, answer this; in order to be a wax work museum you need-? WAX WORKS, actual wax works but nooooooo you may make it fascinating but you spent all your money on the finale now didn't you, the goddam finale you finaliser fans you.... Or so I thought at least.
Okay so then there were sports and comedians. Including Jack Charlton and TV presenter Gay Byme, not too shabby but it was darkened in this room due to the screens playing out their best of moments as well as a voice over which has finally come back since the horror section (where were you?! Did Spongebob scare you too?) there was also a mixing studio where you could change the tempo and volume of a constant beat, it was used by a lot of artists (i think although at that point I just wanted to get to the 'finale',) but other then that it wasn't interesting. There was also an option of making your own music video but it looked and was broken.
However it was now time for the 'finale' of the wax work museum had to offer! 'Okay this is it!' With a smile, expecting something to really blow my mind, we went downstairs through the corridor explaining there was a show, yes YES I was energised... My body was ready as we stepped into the big room full of dazzling lights and two large screens, AND...and.... My arms go limp, my head spins, I blink once; twice but no. NO NO NO, this cannot be, I ask my mum and she looks disgruntled and replies I'm afraid so; I get down on my knees and let out a large Darth Vader cry of NOOOOOOOOOOOO! There were around 25 models and no, I know you have Ireland does have a lot of connections with big celebrities such as U2 and Pierce Brosnan but can you really say that you're '''''FINALE''''' really include a wire boob mesh Madonna, shiny plastic young Annikan Skywalker who looks bewildered by it all and in the whole superhero section we were promised we were presented only 4 characters, 3 of whom were from the same franchise and one being the punaman himself; Arnold schwarzenegger Mr Freeze!? And not even in his suit but the awful polar bear slippers?! Whyyyyy? No you know what he's perfect there, almost like the representation of many a persons reaction by the end of how disappointed they were in this whole experience, just like the 1997 Batman and Robin; it all makes sense! As well as that Liam Neeson's qui gon Jinns moustache was falling off and Jedward were... Well lets just say they do look realistic as in lifeless and plastic so another brownie point for you... We strolled straight out into the sourineir/cafe they had and as I had a look around they did have stockpiles of comics which were cool, even though there were no marvel heroes on display but at that point we just gave up and left.
Overall disappointed, so highly recommend you avoid it but please don't judge Dublin by this one place alone, the rest of our stay was amazing, lovely people, food, other attractions, If I were you go to Phoenix park, it's beautiful has a lot of local wildlife and there's even a zoo nearby, so a lot more life then this 'attraction' but if you really want model actions then Madame Tussads is your best bet, at the very least they did have a 4D marvel experience. But from here on out its your choice.
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