Where to begin?
The mood for this holiday was set immediately when 3 of the tossers you're travelling with break down in the carpark at the airport before even leaving the country.
That aside, upon arrival in spain we had a nice enough shuttle transfer over to our apartment. This shuttle dropped us outside of a hotel in which we weren't staying, he simply pointed into the distance mumbling gemalos and provided us no further information on how to find the place by playing the old "no hable ingles" card. We did however find the place shortly afterwards next to the "Rose and Crown" pub (crackin place and worth a visit).
Getting in your apartment should then be the easy part on arrival for your "trip of a lifetime" holiday. However thanks to the not-so-bright bimbo travel agent who assured us that we head straight there this process wasn't so simple. What we were actually greeted with was a hostile spaniard who wouldn't let us wait in the "lobby" (I use the word loosely, it's more like the stairwell of a highrise s***hole)
Apparently the game with this place is to hide your keys in one of the nearby currency exchange shops without telling you which. So at this point you end up running around trying to locate your room keys (Think Pat Sharpe's "Funhouse") because the shops close circa 3pm and you'll have no way of getting access once they close.
Once you've located your key it's smooth sailing, straight into your sweltering room, dump your bags and get on it. No need for wasting half an hour working out how to use that aircon nonsene- there isn't any. Who needs it anyway, there's children in Africa doing just fine without it so who are you to complain.
You can try and head down to the pool for a bit of a cool off but make sure the lifeguard see's you shower before cannonballin his domain, he doesn't seem to like it when people that aren't wet get in his pool. (No problem for the women knocking around while we were there mind you)
There's really nothing else to the hotel worth noting. The exterior may put you off as it resembles the only building standing after a recent richter 10 earthquake but there's nothing to worry about, the inside doesn't make it look any worse.
For those who took an interest in the chillean miner story a while back then I'm sure the closest you'll get to their experience is using the lift in this building.
All in all, it's very basic and somewhere to sleep after a night of absolute debauchery. Would stay there again if everywhere else was booked
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- Also Known As:
- Gemelos Ii Hotel Benidorm