We were moved to this hotel from our hotel up the road after arriving from the airport. They had a wedding and had double booked, they said, but we would be upgraded upon our return. A taxi arrived with 'Billy' our very cockney driver. Beer gut and fag in gob. "Why you moving to the Seabank then guv?" he asked. I told him. "Well take my word for it mate, you won't want to come back," he said. "It's a resort. 5 restaurants, eat all you like, drink all you like all inclusive. You get a wristband. A dream come true, I'm telling ya. Amazing!"
The foyer was big and glitzy. Couples on honeymoon, thongs showing over skin tight miniskirts, towering high-heels, more gold medallions than you could shake a stick at. Whole tribes of enormously obese families with a fleet of wheely luggage, shouting "yes we'll 'ave summa this!!" I felt diminutive. We checked in and were fitted with our wristbands then went to check the room. Pretty much like an Ibis hotel. Premier Inn decor would be more up market than this, despite the deluxe bathroom. We showered and went down to the pools, where we found line upon line of amassed English blubber. A man one the pool was throwing his girlfriend in the air and bouncing her of his enormous stomach. Her bikini soon came off causing great hilarity.
Food was served that evening in a kind of canteen. Lots of it but it tasted of nothing. Drinks at the bar were unbranded alcohol. People were necking it as fast as they could. The cabaret was comically abysmal.
Next morning we were down early in the foyer ready to go to our correct hotel (which was great). I hoped we'd get Billy the same taxi driver so I could tell him how much I didn't want to stay there. This place would be great for some people. I must say the staff were perfectly pleasant and it was clean. Breakfast was fairly good. Also well located for the (small) beach. But as a matter of personal preference I would pay NOT to stay here. My teenage daughter told us off for being snobbish when we grumbled but by the time we left even she agreed.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- Situated in Mellieha Bay on the island of Malta* All Inclusive Resort* 30 m from the beach* 5-story building* 1 km from downtown Mellieha* 20 km from the airport, 30 m from a bus stop.---Seabank's new and stylish property offers countless ways to spend your days while on holiday in Malta. Overlooking Malta's largest sandy beach at Ghadira Bay excellent beach for family with children), the db Seabank Resort + Spa includes:(1) Modern accommodation, 492 spacious non-smoking and fully equipped rooms (free WIFI), (2) Six international restaurants, three bars serving unlimited beverages. (3) The db Seabank Resort + Spa incorporates a modern spa with fully equipped gym, heated indoor pool, mind & body healing courses, Jacuzzi, Turkish steam bath & sauna, (4) A spectacular array of day and evening activities for every age and interest and (5)Live evening entertainment At the back of the resort, Malta's largest Lagoon style outdoor pool overlooks serene Maltese scenery. Recreational activities such as beach volleyball, crazy golf, air rifle shooting, and beach soccer can be enjoyed at our newly built recreational area. The colourful Kids Club cannot be missed. Popeye Village is just minutes away from the resort. ... more less
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- Also Known As:
- Hotel Riu Seabank
- Riu Seabank Mellieha
- Seabank Hotel
- Db Seabank Resort + Spa Malta/Mellieha