Underwhelming & dull. I’m not describing any particular person or their personality but we all know someone like this. The Vivaz Restaurant & Nightclub is a Churasco restaurant which is looking tired & rundown. It had a distinct cafeteria look about its chairs/tables together with tropical themed cardboard cut-outs on the wall. It seemed obvious the owners have run out of money & ideas, ‘hanging on by their fingernails’ is a term I think of to describe its chances of survival.
The normal entry price is a cool $45 per person for the buffet. Without trying to sound like a jerk, this seemed ridiculous afterwards. Before handing over our money we were told dinner service didn’t start til 7:30pm so we sat around, chewed the fat & waited. Out of the 10 or so limited food options, 7 were cold salads, leafy salads, potato salads, pasta salad, coleslaw…..this is illegal I thought. One of the dishes was a plate of cut-up tomatoes, another was a plate of sliced onions. Stale dinner rolls isn’t a good sign & many people exchanged looks with each other from across the room after biting into the old bread. We get to the good stuff at the end of the line, the famous Brazilian Churrasco, grilled meats, charred goodness & all the things that make life great. There were 4 choices, chicken wings, mini sausage, roast beef & roast pork all guarded by a Brazilian man who strictly oversaw the portions being handed out, this was surely a fancy prison. In reality, Brazil is a poor developing country with little infrastructure, many homeless people & thieves, this is a metaphor for this restaurant, it is not what you expected.
If Brazilian women in high heels, bronze sun tans & feathers walked out to tease me with their lovely bodies I would’ve forgotten everything bad about this place. There was no band & no dancers at 9.30pm as was advertised. Apparently the entertainment was a guy teaching a Hen’s group how to do the salsa but after 30 mins even they couldn’t drink enough alcohol to enjoy themselves. Maybe the slow unenthusiastic clapping put them all off?
Trying to be positive in this review I could honestly say I didn’t see any cockroaches or rapists! After paying over $100 including drinks & only eating mostly salad I felt like I just got robbed then beaten up but the view of the Harbour Bridge was very nice.
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