..... but it wasn't!
The menu read well. It looked like a menu that might have been from a good restaurant somewhere. Maybe they borrowed it.
Proceedings started with the ubiquitous water sting. We all know that one. It starts with being hot and thirsty and ends with buying bottled water sucked from the melting ice caps of another planet or somewhere nearly as exotic.
Next came cocktails ..... oops I meant mocktails. They had run out of the correct ingredients for a brandy Alexander but after sniffing the contents of a few near empty bottles the youngsters running the show that night did find a little bit of some other stuff that hadn't been quite exhausted. They splashed nearly a whole thimble full of each into some white stuff with some ice. Likewise they waived the Vodka bottle past the Black Russian glass. Not much Kahlua was harmed during its construction. My Indonesian is OK. Even my English is OK but they would not begin to understand what was really needed and the mention of a correct measure made Made tremble.
Appertisers; no lobsters at all were harmed during the making of the lobster wontons but the prawns in the coconut prawn dish did seem to have died of natural causes some time ago. There was however a nice little salad on the plate.
Side salads; parsimonious but fresh leaf and a nice little green bean salad.
Mains; Once upon a time the pork belly might have been ok, but not this week. But that's cruel. It could possibly have been less than a few days old.
The fish on the other hand was great. Fresh. Well cooked. It had to be a fluke ( not a flake ).
We didn't hang around for afters.
Our only other neighbours on the night grunted quite audibly as they evacuated the sinking ship.
By the way, all this blistering mediocrity ain't cheap. Even if it was cheap it would have been mediocre.
They did appologise for it all at the end after I gave it to them with both barrels. It was their best performance on the night probably because they had to do it so often. Paid in full. Not a single solitary rupiah as a tip.
In nutshell, "all show, no go".
Can you tell that it made me cranky? I could have had a chewy pork satay and a cold Bintang (thirty times over) somewhere and have had some fun!
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