The good news. The view is amazing. Now for the rest. On an earlier trip to the area we discovered The Birches Resort and thought it would be a great place for our 20th anniversary -- so I reserved the Honeymoon Cottage. We knew it would be rustic, but this was far beyond rustic. I can only speak for this cottage but here rustic meant delayed maintenance. Worse, with my husband being a building and fire inspector, the premises are simply dangerous. Wiring, plumbing, design...nothing meets safety codes. Illogic prevailed. The woodstove was placed directly across from the refrigerator -- in protest the refrigerator rumbled like a constant fumerole and then issued periodic and long-lasting screams. No peace there....When we turned on the faucets in the kitchenette and bathroom... it ran dirt and rust. Turning to the bedroom -- a propane heating unit took the place of a nightstand. Ugly and when we finally got to sleep in the rock-hard, short-sheeted bed (the sheets were clean but rough and torn)...the heater turned on with an ear-splitting roar. When we turned it off...a warning light strobed all night long until I covered it up with my bathrobe. The bathroom had a sink for a very short person and an ancient mirror with a light that I had to hunch to use...but the irony was the switch was over the mirror so that a shorter person would never be able to reach the switch. Exposed wires and pipes were everywhere. The shower, the piece de resistance, was elevated and when I turned on the water I smelled a strong aroma of bleach which I thought came from the water but realized someone had dumped an enormous amount of bleach in the inside of this metal, sort of refugee camp style shower. Ironically the shower head was covered in red mold. The worst is yet to come. I gamely stepped up a foot into this thing and was immediately blasted with scalding water which would not adjust. I am glad I am limber because I was screaming for my husband to come and help me adjust the water and almost fell out of the shower (a foot or so above the sloping floor). He did come and I had about 30 seconds of tolerable temperature where I was lulled into shampooing my hair when the water went from warm to tepid to a temperature just above sleet. I knew I was sunk and gritted my teeth (actually I screamed at the torment) and finished rinsing in the ice-cold water after being partially par-boiled. My husband anticipated my misery and had made a fire for me to thaw by. The happy ending (so to speak) is that we were moved to a private home that obviously rented for more than our Honeymoon cottage from hell... and I was able to sleep in a quiet room on smooth sheets. Although the water was pure sulfur we had brought our own water to brew coffee so all was good -- even the stinky shower was at least not dangerous. We were told no one had ever complained about the Honeymoon cabin... well, buyer beware. Rustic does not mean conditions that are contemptuous of guests and that is what we experienced at the Birches Resort. By the way the food in the restaurant was mediocre at best.
- Official Description (provided by the hotel):
- Located on the northwestern shores of Moosehead Lake, The Birches Resort features the best in north-woods style accommodations, dining, and family fun. Our lodging options right on the lake and with a close up view of Mt. Kineo range from our famous Rustic Cabins, Kozy Cabins, Private Homes, Lodge Rooms, Camp/RV sites, Suites, and more. With so many summer and winter activities to offer you can see why our satisfied guests have come back year after year for generations! ... more less
- Also Known As:
- The Birches Hotel Rockwood
- Birches Hotel Rockwood
- The Birches Resort Maine/Rockwood