If you're looking for clean, modern facilities then head somewhere else. If however you're in the market for a terrible experience and want a filthy and dilapidated caravan site with facilities that are so run down they look like they belong at Pripyat (Chernobyl), this is the place to come...
Let's start with the caravan... It was supposedly a prestige model that sleeps 8 with a pullout double bed. The double bed was in fact a single and the park couldn't care less that we couldn't sleep the advertised occupancy. The caravan itself was so dirty that the dust caused severe nosebleeds for days afterwards.
The hundreds of cigarette butts littering the our plot were certainly a lovely feature and not at all a let down compared to the beautifully sculpted gardens at other haven sites.
The lack of street lighting or walkways seems to be a feature of this park, with the 'entertainment' complex (which would be inadequate for a park 1/3 this size) over 3/4 mile from some of the caravans, the only entertainment you will have is dodging cars that race past in the dark and the dog muck that litters the verges...
I've never seen an indoor swimming pool so full of green slime and broken sharp tiles, disgusting. We spent less than an hour in here before moving on for the safety of our two year old son.
Be warned if you do visit the amusement arcade on site. The machines have a habit of swallowing £1 coins and not working. With the staff being no more helpful than shrugging their shoulders. Also watch out for the change machines as around 1/5 of what they give out seems to be counterfeit.
All in all this was one of the worst holiday experiences our family has had in recent years. It is the complete opposite of our recent fantastic stay at Hafan Y Mor in Wales.
To the management: do not reply with your typical copy & paste response about how you have passed on our comments. You have already admitted there is a problem with the park in writing. So actually do something about your dilapidated complex!
Your facilities are years out of date, for example - other sites have complex-wide WiFi access. Yours has occasional WiFi in a single building.
- Also Known As:
- Thorpe Haven Holiday Park Hotel Cleethorpes