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“didn't like it”
Review of Kalua Hawaiian BBQ & Seafood - CLOSED

Kalua Hawaiian BBQ & Seafood
Dining options: Dinner, Seating, Waitstaff
Restaurant details
Dining options: Dinner, Seating, Waitstaff
Port Washington
Level Contributor
4 reviews
3 restaurant reviews
“didn't like it”
Reviewed 1 May 2013

Didn't care for the food, was too fatty. I will not eat here again. We ate in the reasturant. It is walking distanc from hotel.

Visited March 2013
Thank Pat R
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC

9 reviews from our community

Visitor rating
Rating summary
Date | Rating
  • English first
  • Any
English first
Milwaukee , Wisconsin, United States
1 review
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 1 helpful vote
“Let's not and say we did.”
Reviewed 23 April 2013

For my father's birthday, we wanted to take him somewhere special for dinner. Somewhere we could have a great time with good food, a warm, inviting atmosphere and reasonable prices.
This was not this place.
From the moment we walked in, we were treated to a dusty floral arrangement below a rave review from Milwaukee's totally trustworthy news source, the Journal Sentinel. There was shockingly loud canned in music, a side closet filled with homeless booster seats and tray rests and as soon as we turned the corner into the main dining room, the empty buffet station was waiting for us in the center of the room.
The theme of this restaurant seemed to be a dirty tiki chic, and they take to the faux-Hawaiian decor like someone whose only Hawaiian experience was a bleary, drunken viewing of Joe VS the Volcano ten years ago.
Once seated, our very nice waitress (No really, she was super nice) handed out menus and asked for drinks. Waters all around and I ordered a coke.
There was an open flame on the table, as on all of the tables, but it was lit on a tall glass jar and it's only purpose in the dismal dining room seemed to be a potential fire hazard to anyone with loose clothing, long hair or large squares of paper... like a menu.
The prices seemed steep, but it was a special occasion, so we were wiling to overlook it. My father ordered the pupu platter for our appetizer and oddly enough, this too arrived on fire. It came in a wooden lazy Susan with a flaming center that nearly lit the waitress' sweater on fire.
The food, although not exactly piping hot, was not terrible. The crab cakes were tasty and the coconut shrimp was good, but the teriyaki ribs were fatty and cold.
The waitress returned to clear the flaming danger Susan and brought up the soup that came with our entrees.
It resembled chicken soup out of a can, but was deep green and had large dried carrot coins lurking at the bottom like leeches. It was spicy in an unoffensive way but had no other flavor.
The mostly uneaten soup was removed and replaced by our entrees.
I urged my gluten-free Mother to order the Angry Spicy Tiki Tofu because the name made me laugh. My father ordered a combo plate of barbecued ribs and shrimp. My fiance ordered the tilapia and I, being the cautious gourmet I am, ordered the teriyaki burger.
It is an odd sensation seeing food that is obviously the preview of the diarrhea you'll be having later.
Hello Burger, welcome to a night of sweating, running to the bathroom and cursing whoever thought it would be fun to try the new Hawaiian fusion restaurant.
It might be good to mention that none of this food had ever seen a pan. Or an oven. There was no cooking involved in preparing any of that meal.
My burger seemed to come from a gas station microwave-n-vomit, the Angry Spicy Tiki Tofu seemed to have come out of a bag and my fiance's fish looked like someone had deep fried a sponge and threw it over a bed of white rice.
This grease-laden gut churning birthday mistake was not cheap.
In total, we spend nearly one hundred dollars for four people. We ordered no desserts and nobody had a drink except for me and when my Coke arrived, it was flat.
I suggest that if you and your family are looking for a fun, themed restaurant with good food and a nice atmosphere, you could try County Clare, an Irish restaurant on the East Side of Milwaukee.
But if you're in the mood to pay a lot of money to look at a dusty hammerhead shark nailed to the wall, attempt to eat some disgusting and possibly on fire food and then spend the rest of the night marveling at how fast your body was able to reject said food, then by all means, head on down to Kalua.
Not being disappointed was never an option.

  • Visited April 2013
    • Value
    • Atmosphere
    • Service
    • Food
1 Thank Katherine D
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Jackson, Wisconsin
Level Contributor
175 reviews
63 restaurant reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 109 helpful votes
“Hawaiian food being served in Cedarburg”
Reviewed 23 March 2013 via mobile

We really enjoyed a nice meal at this new restaurant. It seems like the previous complaints have been worked out.
They have a liquor license. I had a blue Hawaiin and my spouse a glass of wine. Other tropical drinks like dacquiris and piña colada are on the menu too. We had the garlic pepper calamari for an appetizer and found it delicious.
Our entrees included the curry vegetable soup which was good , but spicy. We both ordered combo platters that featured coconut shrimp and Kalbi short ribs, served with side of rice and macaroni salad. Plates decorated with pretty orchid.
Loved the ribs, the shrimp was served with a creamy piña colada sauce. We couldn't resist dessert, so we ordered the Hawaiian ice cream sandwiches. Pineapple ice cream served between 2 almond cookies, rolled in toasted coconut and topped with whip cream. Delicious.
The service was attentive. Hawaiian music was playing and a lighting effect simulated waves on the ceiling. a large Easter Island style face sculpture decorated the dining room. We will definitely be back again.

Thank Gwenbry
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Level Contributor
4 reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 3 helpful votes
“Needs to improve or it will close.”
Reviewed 24 February 2013

We ate here about two weeks after it opened. Probably should have waited a bit longer for them to work out the kinks...but by reading a few of these reviews they still exist several months later.

They did not have their liquor license yet, perhaps if we would have had a few drinks before we would not have been so critical :-) we experienced the same problem as others, mediocre service and the dinners all came out at separate times. Add to that that two people had to send their food back because it was undercooked and it made for a less than pleasant experience.

Some of our appetizers were also under cooked, but my inventive friend simple used the little mini grill that accompanies the platter to cook them. Not sure if this was the intent of the grill, but we made it works....although we added quite a bit of smoke to the room.....

None of the food was very tastey and we are a very easy group to please. We plan on giving it six months before heading back to see if they made improvements.

  • Visited November 2012
    • Value
    • Atmosphere
    • Service
    • Food
Thank Labmom1
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Des Moines, Iowa
Level Contributor
47 reviews
19 restaurant reviews
common_n_restaurant_reviews_1bd8 25 helpful votes
“Oh yeah, something different!”
Reviewed 1 February 2013

Visited Cedarburg for the night and saw this new restaurant. We wanted fish. Partner had the fish fry, battered in tempura. He loved the unique tartar sauce and said fish was crispy/tasty. I had the mahi mahi tacos; they were extremely fresh and yummy with panko breadcrumbs, cilantro, and jalapeno. Next time I'll get jalapeno on the side--a little too spicy for me. I also loved my salad with ginger dressing. Now, the dessert was awesome. It was cheesecake in a crispy shell with strawberry sauce...so good. We will go again.

  • Visited January 2013
    • Value
    • Atmosphere
    • Service
    • Food
1 Thank feelingbeachy
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC

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