Where to start? My friend Laura and I came down for two days. She was very tired when we arrived in town early and said she wanted to check in as soon as possible. Check in was at 2 so we forced ourself to go through Mount Olympus Amusement Park for a few hours till 2. Finally we drove over to the motel and found a sign on the door saying "Be back at 3". So we had to spend another hour walking around town which she barely had the energy for.
Once we checked in I was surprised to see that the room keys were actual metal keys on a keychain. Inside the room, the cable on the itty bitty square TV had to be fiddled with to come in clearer, and they only got 8 channels: CBS, ABC, NBC, FOX, Fox News, ESPN, Cartoon Network, and HBO. How is it even possible to only get some cable? And if you're paying for HBO, you don't have a cable service that gives you at least 40 something other channels? Food, USA, TNT? When we watched TV the following night it was a bit infuriating to have such a limited choice.
The next morning when we went to shower the water was very cold. I tried turning the shower knobs in all different directions and couldn't get hot water. After letting it run for a while as an experiment it got too hot, and I burned myself a bit trying to shower. Then it suddenly got colder on its own again and I had to rinse off and be done. They also claim on their sign the pool is heated. That's bogus. I tried getting in it and not even the warm day and the sun was making a difference.
As we left the room our first morning the owner spotted us, and asked us if we needed the maid service or anything cleaned. We said we were fine, and when we returned that night realized it was what we thought. Bed, towels, floor... Untouched.
Ok, now pardon this one, I'll try and be delicate. The toilet in the bathroom is shoved in a tiny corner behind the sink and next to the shower. You have to walk sideways and cram yourself in to sit down. When you try and clean yourself up you're banging your arms everywhere.
That night I also found an ant crawling on me while I watched TV.
In the morning when we went to check out early, the sign on the door said the owner arrives a few hours later. You just drop your keys through the slot and you're checked out. So he doesn't even stick around if there is a problem. There's nobody there.
If you need a cheap stay, this is it, but for all the deals that can be found for better hotels that give you waterpark tickets to stay there, I will never return to the Colonial Motel.
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