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“Fawlty towers for sure”
2 of 5 bubbles Review of Telemachos Hotel

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Telemachos Hotel
Ranked #14 of 16 Hotels in Dassia
Portsmouth, United Kingdom
2 reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 9 helpful votes
“Fawlty towers for sure”
2 of 5 bubbles Reviewed 29 May 2014

The first thing they said when we arrived do you want a 50 euro upgrade we looked at the upgrade but declined the upgrade basic room was the same apart from a new door and a flat screen TV that got 4 rubbish channels
the nice Indian lackey that was shouted at by the Greek owners helped get our bags to our rooms
The first sight of breakfast was ok 2 cereals were on offer but the cooked food was a bit disappointing rubber fried eggs very well spread out beans greasy bacon and ever reapeating sausages but there were tea & coffee orange and a toaster for bread
Pallo was nice helpful but Dimitri and George were rude but was very creepy towards the young girls the pool bar was ok but when you went to the bar staff seamed to disappear and you were left waiting price list was on the wall but only word of mouth told you about the all inclusive toasties
The pool was cold but clean
at the back of the hotel there were piles of mattresses and old sanitary ware just pushed over edge of the grounds
Lunches that did attend we're ok as long as you liked chips
Dinners were chips and other dishes that were ok but many people walked in looked and walked out
Wine could only be had with dinners and you could not have another drink until you have finished your first
The road up to the hotel was steep at the end and to older guests this would be a problem
The local town was pretty quiet and uninviting and the beach was just stones and litter
Our room was changed every 2 days the shower had no holder and leaked all over the place the tap just spun round and round the drain in the floor stunk the bed came apart and my wife woke up on the floor and was repaired in the morning
The island was great to explore so this made up for this poor hotel that the locals called fawlty towers

Room Tip: Do not go for the upgrade
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  • Stayed May 2014, travelled as a couple
    • Value
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    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
8 Thank John P
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
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Rating summary
  • Location
    2.5 of 5 bubbles
  • Sleep Quality
    2.5 of 5 bubbles
  • Rooms
    2.5 of 5 bubbles
  • Service
    2.5 of 5 bubbles
  • Value
    2.5 of 5 bubbles
  • Cleanliness
    2.5 of 5 bubbles
Traveller tips help you choose the right room.   Room tips (280)
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English first
Workington, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
19 reviews
15 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 49 helpful votes
2 of 5 bubbles Reviewed 27 May 2014

On arrival (May 17th) we were offered an upgrade and shown two rooms, one of which was newly decorated and had air conditioning, the other was basically the same but had no air conditioning......this was for 40 euros. We took the upgrade but never needed the air conditioning, and we wondered if this was just a con as the 40 euros had to be in cash, and no receipt was given - we'll never know, but on talking to other guests who also had this offer, they reckoned they showed everyone a deliberately shabby room.
Our room was clean but the sheets and towels, although clean, were rather grey looking. The shower had no curtain or screen, so every time we showered the bathroom got very wet and slippery - not an omission, but a design fault.

The food was just like school dinners of our youth - no choice whatsoever, and very basic. The chef was delightful and came from Bulgaria, and was obviously doing the very best he could within a very limited cash budget, and seemed quite embarrassed by the whole situation. He was required to work seven days a week, every week, for sometimes 10 to 12 hours a day. He was a proud chef in his own country but said he needed the job and couldn't leave, yet he smiled continuously to the guests - a star!

The drinks.... Maggie asked for a glass of wine when we arrived, not an unusual request you'd think..... But oh no.... Wine is only served at evening meal, not any other time, and only allowed to be consumed in the dining room, and not in the bar area... all inclusive stopped at 21:30..... on the dot, and Maggie was refused a drink because there was some left in her glass - this at 21:25..... Drinks were served in plastic glasses, even at the bar, and when eating food. We soon discovered that if you were young, female, and flirty, one of the barmen would do everything for you, sadly we didn't fit this criteria, and got rude treatment. He was an exception, the other bar staff were fine.

Generally the staff were OK, but we discovered if you had a problem, then they did not want to know, just about everything being a chore.

The pool was very good, and the hotel situation was fine, being well off the main road, and suited us nicely. The fact that there was no entertainment did not matter to us, but may matter if that's what you're looking for. We were there out of season, so maybe in the peak season, there is entertainment, and it may well be a better hotel.... maybe.

Corfu is a beautiful island, and we do recommend the boat trip to Albania. Well worth the money.

Bear in mind... This was a last minute cheap deal, and we got what we paid for. Biggest gripe was the lack of choice with the food, and the restricted wine policy, and early closing of 'all' inclusive.

Would we go back for the same price? Not to that hotel, but to Corfu, yes.

  • Stayed May 2014, travelled as a couple
    • Value
    • Location
    • Sleep Quality
    • Rooms
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
8 Thank BrianAndMaggie
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC

Travellers are raving about these Dassia hotels

Wallasey, England, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
8 reviews
3 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 30 helpful votes
1 of 5 bubbles Reviewed 14 May 2014

when you arrive you are hit with a bill of 40 euros to upgrade, if you want to. After seeing the room we upgraded, it was better, but it was a standard room. The food is diabolical, and I mean diabolical, so be warned, it's either salad......tomatoes cucumber and lettuce breakfast dinner and , or slop. If there is any stewed meat on it is rationed and heaven help you if you want more....not that we did.
The people who work there, serving food, at reception, wear nothing but jeans and t shirts . Do not bother getting the internet for another 20 euros for 3 days as you cannot get it in your room, even though we were assured we could. I and others went to complain about the lack of the internet and we were told the satellites were down, the bloke on reception was very indignant that we all were complaining, as he does everything in this place :/
The place is up a very steep hill and quite a few older people found it very very difficult to get there.
It might seem a cheap holiday, but by the time you go out to eat, and there is nothing around in this area, then it really isn't. I have never written a review before as I thought only moaners did things like that, but it needs to be pointed out this place is awful.
Oh we went there at the end of April 2014

  • Stayed April 2014, travelled as a couple
    • Value
    • Location
    • Sleep Quality
    • Rooms
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
9 Thank May G
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Romania
Level Contributor
8 reviews
8 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 10 helpful votes
1 of 5 bubbles Reviewed 12 May 2014

We stayed only one night but it was a terrible experience.After I turned on the heat on the room which was at the second floor lot of little insects climbed on the walls of the room. In the middle of the night insted of sleeping I had to go to the reception to ask for room change. The staff was very unfriendly and annoyed but after we had a big dispute they agreed to change the room. We was rushing to take our luggage even we were in the middle of the night.
Next day we left early in the morning and the breakfast was very poor

  • Stayed May 2014, travelled with friends
    • Value
    • Location
    • Sleep Quality
    • Rooms
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
8 Thank amicris
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Birmingham, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
72 reviews
27 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 93 helpful votes
3 of 5 bubbles Reviewed 11 May 2014

We stayed here for a wet week in May 14.It was a tired Hotel run by unprofesionals which seems to be with low budget Hotels in Greece.No uniform,no aprons and well guess who works here and who doesnt.The choice to upgrade room on arrival was a no -no as the better room wasnt better really.It had been done up badly.The room we had was well lived in and dirty.Clean bed linen but grubby shower and dust laden surfaces.Breakfast was free choice over cereals but served to hot food which was never hot in fact on our last day it was stone cold.But a cold bacon sandwich is lovely.Again at evening meal,free to help yourself to salad and bread. Child portions to the luke warm food.Lovely beef stifado one night and a non meat chicken breast another.So for a two star Ok.For the cheap price we paid good.Had I paid more, and some had, I would have had room for complaint.The all inc only serves wine at meal times?It also stops serving at 930pm so if you didnt know,you do now.Brill big pool,table tennis and some well laid on sun beds.Not many staying so no probs getting a seat in restaurant or by pool.Staffing very poor,they enjoyed watching the constant rows with the manager over drinks and food.It was them v us at times.Dont let the buggers get you down,haha.15 min walk to a pebbley rubbish strewn beach.5 mins to main road with a fair ammount of bars and shops.If you have walking dificulties the hill to and from hotel is very steep.Even with a lift in the hotel you will still need to manage some steps to get in the restaurant.

Room Tip: pay more and the upgrade was 40 euros,but see both as our room wasnt much diff.
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  • Stayed May 2014, travelled as a couple
    • Value
    • Location
    • Sleep Quality
    • Rooms
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
2 Thank Paul S
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Birmingham, United Kingdom
Level Contributor
4 reviews
4 hotel reviews
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 4 helpful votes
5 of 5 bubbles Reviewed 11 May 2014

This hotel is very good. We had no problems. The rooms are cleaned every day and the maids are very happy and pleasant. The rooms are nice and clean, The beer is cheap and served by a great bar man called Dimitris, who is a very nice happy man always happy to help. The managers are always smiling and up for a laugh. Overall the staff are brilliant, the atmosphere was great and we had a great holiday. We would defiantly recommend and come back again!! <3 Amy + Tracey <3 xxxxxxx

  • Stayed May 2014, travelled with family
    • Value
    • Location
    • Sleep Quality
    • Rooms
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
3 Thank amylouxoxo
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
Manchester, United Kingdom
1 review
common_n_hotel_reviews_1bd8 5 helpful votes
3 of 5 bubbles Reviewed 23 April 2014

We read the reviews and panicked somewhat however we were pleasantly surprised, the hotel is one of the cleanest we have stayed in, staff polite and ready to help. All inclusive was as it said when we booked. We met some amazing people whilst staying and had an amazing holiday. People that are ready to slag this place off need to remember what they paid. Also the hill is no where near as bad as mentioned! Apart from a 2 man 'hen do' gate crashing our fun we would go again. Be prepared for flirty bar boys :)

  • Stayed April 2014
    • Value
    • Location
    • Rooms
    • Cleanliness
    • Service
Helpful?
5 Thank Richie-armyboy
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
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Additional Information about Telemachos Hotel

Property: Telemachos Hotel
Address: Dassia 490 83, Greece
Region: Greece > Ionian Islands > Corfu > Dassia
Amenities:
Restaurant Swimming Pool
Hotel Style:
Ranked #14 of 16 Hotels in Dassia
Price Range (Based on Average Rates): £
Hotel Class:3 star — Telemachos Hotel 3*
Number of rooms: 100
Reservation Options:
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Also Known As:
Telemachos Hotel Corfu/Dassia
Tilemachos Hotel Corfu

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